You want one and I have one~^_^ Here you are~
A psycho-patient was singing in his sick-bed. The first hour he was on his back, then the next hour he turned himself upside down and sang again. The doctor was curious and he asked the patient why he turned over while singing. "When the A side is over, of course I should turn to the B side to keep singing." said the patient.

And one more joke featuring the psycho-patient. ^_^
One day, a psycho-patient was fishing near his bed in a fish bowl. Apparently the fish bowl was empty, but he made it as if he was fishing in the lake. A nurse passed py and was attracted by the strange behavior of the patient. She asked the patient, trying to make fun of him:" How many fishes have you fish today, sir?" The patient smiled:"Not a single, because it is empty."

A boy reaches his house and tells her mother:
-- Mommy, mommy... at school they tell me "Backstreet Boy" :(
-- Who tells you that way? - asked the concerned mother
The child replied: "Everybooooooooody, yeaaah..."

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.
Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.
The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, "Where? Where?"

well, i got one, but it is just a joke..hope it is not rude, i heard it from my teacher :

there are 3 guys staying in a place that has a strange curse, it is said that´´if you stepped on a frog, you would get an ugly couple one week later´´.

the first guy has accidentally stepped on a frog and the next days, it is true! he got married with an ugly woman. and he admits ´´yeah, i know, i just stepped on a frog on the street´´.

´´oh i just did it! so, i will get an ugly woman´´ *sigh* said the second guy. and again, it happened!

and then they discussed together about the curse.
the third guy proudly says ´´look, i have never stepped on a frog, so, i got a beautiful wife!´´.
he is introducing his wife to his friends.
then his wife says ´´frog? OMG! i just stepped on a frog one week ago!´´

João don't be worried u've got the sense of humour :)

"When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals. "

"Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Mark Twain:You're reallybeautiful,Madam
A woman who was sitting opposite to Mark Twain:I'm sorry,I really can't flatter you in the same terms as you do to me.
Mark twain:That does not matter.Anyway you can lie as I do.^^

The Obedient Wife'
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he dies, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket. His wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, ‘Wait just a moment!'….
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,
'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.
The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him' the friend said: You mean that you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'
'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.