Do you find it easy to start a relationship with a foreigner?

Hello everybody.

I refer to relationship as anything that involves at least 2 people interacting, from friendship, business to romantic relationships. I would like you, if possible, to explain in the clearest possible way your experience (if any) and your thoughts on this matter.

Sometimes approaching someone can be a challenging task as various things are involved, such as the language, religion, or a very different culture, for instance Japanese culture vs. Latin American culture. I fathom that this subject can turn out to be about stereotypes your society has created about how certain people behave or react to certain things in different countries. Let’s give an example. In Japan, people do not greet by kissing each other on the cheek as you would do in Europe or in the Americas continent. Then, we have the first ‘obstacle’, something that if you do not know, when you are getting to know the person better, an awkward situation might come up, ultimately resulting in an ‘’unapproaching’’; that, of course, depends also upon the person’s way of reacting. There, we understand that cultures behave in different ways which we may not be acquainted with.

Does this necessarily make the approaching harder? Firstly, we would start saying ‘’ Where are you from’’ wouldn’t we? After we know the person’s origin, we can change our behavior, if we know little or nothing about the person’s culture, we would usually be careful with our words. Then, I deem that it does not make things exactly harder but rather we are more respectful, which is a good thing, because we would likely behave in a very different way if we meet someone from our own country.

There is also this thing called ‘’prejudging’’. Some people prejudge others just because of the stereotype your country has created, which can make feel unwelcomed or unwanted the foreigner. Let’s give some examples about stereotypes. As we know, in every country some racism or xenophobia exists, in a different degree of course. In Spain, for instance, there are some people who think that Latin American people live in caves, forests, jungles or are uncivilized. I find that utterly comical, because I wonder what makes them think that. Of course, in any country there are people who are rude, no doubt. Another stereotype is branding blondes as idiots. Some people let themselves be swayed by it and treat blondes as if they were retarded, or even, some men find them an easy ‘’prey’’ , which is ridiculous. Prejudging makes things harder because you might get yourself a surprise.

What about religion? This is a very controversial topic, so there is no need to go too deep in this pitch-dark cave. Nevertheless, we comprehend clearly that religion could be a reason to have serious problems to get to know a person. Something I find sometimes to be a sad limiting when it comes to know a person’s value since some fervent fall into prejudging.

In my opinion, starting any kind of relationship with a foreigner can be easy or difficult, which it will be, it’s entirely up to you and up to the person to whom you talk as well as your experience, from trust to personality. I do not find particularly hard to start a relationship with a foreigner, because I feel curiosity about that person’s way of seeing the world, their customs and their language. I love biculturalism and multiculturalism, so I feel particularly inclined to be more opened to a foreigner than to a person of my own country. If I were to get married, she must be foreigner :)

I would like to read your opinions.

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Posted by Suzumiya Mar 17, 2012
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Tricky question you've put there.. I think it's not impossible, but it really depends on the cultural differences between each other. Language can be a big trammel, but given enough practice, it would be just fine. There's nothing more awkward than being with someone you can't fluently talk to! Right?

Pablin

Mar 17, 2012

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I'll try my best, but I won't write as much as you did (:

I'm from Ukraine. I found out that it depends a lot on a country where a person is from, whether it's easy to make friends with or not for me.

For example, I like german language, I've learned it by myself but I got so dissapointed searching for people from germany to talk to, I can't really make friends with them.

The oposite is about China, the US, Poland (: I've got soom good experience with several people from those countries.

You mentioned Japan, I'd say that there is no other country with the culture, that differs that much from the rest of the world (:

Religion doesn't matter for me, as I don't really believe in it. Though, I'm not excited about islamic religion (it looks crazy for me) and this might be a cause for me to not be friends with someone.

Iwan

Mar 17, 2012

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My country is full of white poeple, that's why they might look at other races as on pink elephants, but it's not really a reason to not make friends with someone.

Language.. I felt not comfy and shy the first day or two, then it was complitely fine for me to talk to a foreigner, even though I was mistaking a lot.

My girlfriend is from the US, we had a language problem for a few days, no religion problems at all (I might've start to worry if she believed in it too much XD) , she's white too so I can't say anything about race here, we had hard time getting used to each other cultures, for now it's a huge compromise around them and it's still under construction (: but everything goes fine (:

Iwan

Mar 17, 2012

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guess,its a bit hard

Anupam Chowdary

Mar 18, 2012

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one of the difficult task is making a friendship with a foreigner, even made still difficult to carry on to future. the religion + race and the country will effect for a new friendship, even the communication as well.

친절한 아라파트

Mar 18, 2012

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(1/3)

I completely agree with you here.

There are many different factors which play a role in the development and maintenance of a relationship (with a friend, foreigner, etc.) so the possible future of a relationship is never a given.

I've found that mutual respect is the easiest road to take when meeting new people. Of course I have preconceived notions, schemas, thoughts about a certain race or culture, but regardless of whether or not they are positive or negative, I try to start off on a clean slate. I try my best not to pigeonhole the person before, during, or after meeting them for the first time; after all, things change, opinions change, and people change.

Nich N

Feb 21, 2013

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(2/3)

I definitely know what you mean by the idea of altering our behavior depending on the person we are meeting for the first time, with respect to let's say their background and culture. For example, in Argentina I have no problem greeting both men and women with a kiss on the cheek - that is what we do. In Finland, on the other hand, we hold in high regard a person's personal space; to boldly just lean in for a kiss on the cheek could be seen as disrespectful when first meeting a person. Conversely, in the USA, it could go both ways depending on your location; some states are more open to immediate public affection while others are not. This (our conduct/behavior) can of course change over time as the relationship molds itself into something different.

Nich N

Feb 21, 2013

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(3/3)

Lastly, when meeting new people, I try my best to steer away from topics such as politics and religion. These two are some of the post polarizing topics of discussion and can easily lead to a heated argument and/or rift in the relationship before it has even had a chance to begin - whether or not it can be continued/saved afterwards in completely up to the individual involved. Granted this is more of a worst case scenario, but you never know what kind of person you might be involved with.

All in all, I find intercultural relationships some of the most rewarding ones out there and am always looking forward to making new ones!

Nich N