Test Your Translation Skill - Part I

One of my favorite Chinese poem.:)

故国不堪回首月明中

In the moon my collapsed kingdom haunted about in my mind.

In the moon I cannot bear to remember my collapsed kingdom.

只是朱颜改

朱颜，既可以指作者自己(人)，又可以指雕栏玉砌(物)。It is hard to translate it to be beautiful as it is.:p

杨宪益、戴乃迭 译

To the Tune of Yu Mei Ren

There is no end to moonlit autumns or flowery springs,
And I have known so very many things.
From my turret the wind was in the east again last night.
A lost land was too much to bear: I turned from the moonlight.
The cavern rail and jadework wall are as they were before:
Those rosy cheeks alone are there no more.
Tell me, what is the uttermost extent of pain, you say?
Mine is a river swollen in spring and welling east away.

Great!  Thanks for your input.  Your got the meaning but needs more polishing :)  I shall be putting my version later in the week.  It will be a lengthy essay in which it needs another entry. Will keep you all informed :)

Haru, you should give yourself more slack.  This version of yours is one of those "professional" translation that is not quite true to technical requirements of translation and also not to the true intent of the poet.  However, I do like the word "turret" but the image invoke is solely western.  I still prefer the generic "tower".

Haru, thanks for including those 3 versions.  This shows that you cannot believe in all that are posted on the internet.  I would like you to comment when my version is posted.  If you disagree, please give your opinions.  This group is for learning the finer points of English and Chinese through poetry. 

I just hope that more people will join in this delightful foray. :)

haha, Li Yu is one of my favourite poets. 

Yes, he failed as a ruler but succeeded as a poet.  Sung Hui Tsung also failed as a ruler but though talented in the arts is better known for his humilation under the Jin.

My version.  If you want to know why it was translated this way, see

http://www.italki.com/groups/4194/topic/51305.htm#.USNX_B2sh8E

Oh when did the spring flowers leave?

When did the autumn moon fade away?

Of events past, I knew too much.

Again, once more the east wind visited my small tower abode last night.

My country of old, no longer can I bear, I yearn for the brightness in the moon of yore.

Carved balustrades and steps of jade ought to remain the same.

Only the erubescence had changed.

My Lord, how much sorrow can you endure?

Exactly as much as thawed waters of a spring river flowing east.