Forgive and Forget?
Is it really necessary to forget what happen when you forgive or its just enough to forgive? Forgiving without forgetting might be a problem to a person who commit the mistake, who is trying to change, because time will always come that he/she will always be blame for what happen and that mistake will always dig up. However you cannot push the victim to just forget what happen it is not that easy to move on.
It is not necessary to forget in order to forgive. If you forgive someone who did something bad to you, you destroy that source of hate and negative energy in yourself on that topic forever .
If you can't do that, you never really forgiven person, you just threw a "lie" (mostly it is lie to yourself since you don't want person to feel bad or just don't want feel like you're bad person who never forgives). Basically you pity him/her rather to accept it back as someone of your own (as friend for example)or just want to clean your own conscience by kinda giving person chance but not really.
If your old source of negative energy upon new mistake of person wakes up when you are arguing with person then you know you didn't forgave person last time. You just turned it off for little bit.
Yes forgetting is option. But memories can always come back. So it is not really a reliable option. A lot minor mistakes can bring memory of old mistakes back.
If you want true forgiveness, you need acceptance of mistake. You need accept person together with mistake, or not accept it at all.
On bigger mistakes only few people truly forgive, and a lot of them just clear their conscience by virtual instead of real forgiving. In such case, problem is just pushed away a bit and can wake up any time. It is not solution.
My answer would be forgive. Forgetting alone is just asking for trouble. Forgiving in expectation to forget same story. Best is to forgive, leave bad aside, accept person once again, from this moment, moment of forgiving from now on and for days forward. If you can't do that, you better not forgive, you'll just be nervous and unsure about your mixed feelings and something won't feel right for you for very long time or forever. Be honest when you forgive. It won't just help person you forgive but also yourself. Everyone is capable of forgiving. Question is only if we do really want to forgive...deep inside?
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