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Give me a joke, funny quotes or pick up line ^^

I'm a bit sad lately and I want to feel better and laugh. If you have a joke or funny quotes write it down. I also like pick up line example below:


Boy: Are you a magnet?

Girl: Why?

Boy: because im attracted to you




Dad, Dad, as you know if a man is drunk?
Look son, Do you watch those 2 guys that come there?
if I was drunk would see 4 men
but Dad, if alone comes a man




If you looking for something: Google,

If you look for someone: Facebook,

If you not find something: mom!




Do not worry.
Quitting smoking is easy.
I have left about a hundred times


You do not be sad. Smile at life!

this is not a joke but I think you will like: the best curve in a woman is her smile :D

Why was six afraid of seven?




Sorry about the double post, I accidentally clicked 'enter'.


Why was six afraid of seven?









                  Because seven ate nine.

Alberto - hehehe the drunk and young joke are funny. lol


Alberto P - yes I agree with u its the best make up smile :)


Jmat - I dont get your joke.. hehe how can seven eat nine?


Ayad - Hahaha your knot watt is funny.. XD I like it.. I will watch the video that u suggested me.

 You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.


hahaha,thank you Doris Day, I really like this post, thanks to others who posted funny jokes too! :))))))))) I guess since 8 sounds or pronunces like "ate",when you say  7,8,9, it's like u say Seven ate Nine!

Elina -  hahaha now I understand it. Thanks!



I just wanna share these too:


Boy: Excuse me ma'am. Is your name by any chance, Google?
Girl: No, why?
Boy: 'Cause you have everything I'm searching for. 



For weeks a little boy told his teacher about the baby that was coming to his house. One day, his mother let him feel the baby move in her tummy. He then stopped telling the teacher about the baby. The teacher finally asked, "What happened to the baby you were expecting at your house?" The boy broke into tears and said, "I think my Mommy ate it!"

A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, I can see why."




Pickup line:

I'd better call the police 'cuz you just stole my heart.


Your parents must be bakers 'cuz you sure got nice buns.

αλεξης, Ayad - Nice one! ^^


Juan Jose - achechecheche


Goatish - Nice pick up line but i dont get your kangaroo jokes hehe.. I noticed about american joke i have to think first before I can laugh. haha

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