Site Feedback

Can you help me to improve my Email

This is the text of Email. Can you help me to correct the improper text and improve it? Thank you (Now Email content) Hi Kale, After discussion inside our team, we agree that you need not any travel onsite since KSG have already high level understanding of the project and there is no plan in WO about the onsite. So the project will start in August 22 as what you planned at first, and we will communicate by conference and live meeting. Please let us know your detail schedule of this project so that we can make prepare. Thank you.

Share:

Comments

 

Hi Kale, Our team discussed this and decided (or 'the consensus was...') that you need not any travel on-site (or 'visit the site' or 'come in person') since KSG have already high level understanding of the project and there is no plan in WO (I'm not sure what this is) about the onsite (I'm not sure what type of company you work for. That would influence the phrase you'd use. E.g. if this is a construction site 'visiting the site' or something more generally 'coming in person') Thus, the project will commence on August 22 as you planned initially, and we will communicate by conference (?call) and schedule a live meeting. Please provide us with a detailed schedule for this project so that we can make arrange things in advance. Thank you. (Kind Regards/ Best Wishes)

 

Just noticed another small error.... 'that you need not any travel on-site', should read 'that you need to travel on-site (or to the site)'

 

'After discussion inside our team' could also be 'After a discussion with our team or by our team'

"can make arrange " --> can arrange

Wow, you impress me that I can improve so much on my writing, thank you both. Let me just explain something that I did not make it clear in my Email. WO means Work Order, it is a kind of common document of our project. And onsite (or on-site) means working in customer's company. It is an office the company I works in. And you are right it is conference call, I will never miss it.

Add a comment