Site Feedback

please help me

Would you mind to do me a favor please?I will take part in the speech competition next week.
Now I am so sorry to disturb you but please spend few minutes to read my lecture and give me some advice, please!
I am a Chinese student and my major is English in campus. Our school will hold an English speech competition next week. I seek help from you to tell me how to improve,such as avoid the Chinglish or some grammar errors.
Here is my lecture:
Have you ever read the world famous and beautiful poem written by Samuel ?It's name is YOUTH. He mentioned that “ Youth, is the freshness of the deep springs of life. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”
Actually I couldn't agree with him more. Recently some movies which is based on the theme of youth has received a great reputation ,such as Old boy and So young .It seems that youth is well acknowledged to be the most precious time in our span of life which has been praised highly and advocated to be cherished not only Samuel but also many other Chinese or foreigner famous writers.
And now we all are sophomore in the precious golden age, how should we spend our youth meaningfully? Let me take some examples first, I belive most of you have seen that many of our schoolmates especially boys usually play computer games rather than read books in the library. Not only boys waste their time, but also girls who prefer going shopping rather than acquire knowledge from the lessons also lose their chances to improve themselves.What a pity! With so many college students give up their enthusiasm and passion to pursue their initial dreams, their youth just slip away seconds by seconds unconsciously.
This kind of phenomenon arise our thinking absolutely. Comparing with the reason, I would more like to discuss the solutions with all of you.How to spend our youth meaningfully, we get back to the question again.As far as I am concerned, knowing what you really want is the most significant thing that you should take into consideration first. After finding the direction, you must be motivated to pursue your goals and make efforts to achieve them. As to me ,several month ago I was quite confused about my future and couldn't find the real meaning of learning English, I nearly gave up my course until my friend reminded me of my plan after graduating from the college, she said :“ Have you forgot that you wish you could become an English teacher and pass on the knowledge to those children who were really eager for them?Suddenly I got the answer and was encouraged to push myself on the way to insist. Everytime I thought about the eyes of those children,I made up my mind to help them. From this prospective, we don't have any time to waste! There's not another youth again for us,so do cherish your precious time in campus to improve yourself!

 

Share:

Comments

 

Good job for sophomore! Please explain to me the movie 'Old boy and So young'.

 Is it Chinese movie? If so, what is the title in Chinese.

Your speech is good, but there are numerous errors that could be easily corrected.

Have you forgotten that you wanted. Compared to ...   The word "campus" is out of place.

You wrote a good speech! I loved it!!! I agree with you. But, there are so many opinions why do people like to play games or go shopping. Other opinion:
These youth people believe that their success in computer games or finding what-to-wear is enough to assert themselves and to improve the psychological state. But there are people who like to exercise their intellectual activity and achieve real results. People have to understand that the results in helping other people and in improving their lives provide much more pleasure.

This is a nice speech! It reminds me to study hard but I don't want to spend my youth by just merely studying. When I was in elementary and highschool my parents are expecting me to have a good grades. I always study to have a good grades and be an honor student. I don't remember much watching tv or movies a lot, going out with my friends and play when I was still a kid. Thinking back then makes me feel that I missed living a life as a child and a teenager so now in college I am living a youthful life but I guess I overdo it. I am spending much time being in front of the computer, playing games, reading blogs, making videos and editing photos, watching shows and videos, learning languages etc.. I also spend much time working or going out with friends which results to having a low grades. Well I guess I have to balance everything.

 

I corrected your essay in easy English for the students, not for the teachers.

And there are so many errors need to be corrected.

 

We all have mobile phone. Have you received a meaning message from someone? Before telling my message, I'd like to introduce a famous and beautiful poem written by Samuel. The title is YOUTH.

 

“Youth, is the freshness of the deep springs of life. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”

 

Recently some movies had received a great reputation, such as 'Old Boy and So Young(?)'. The main theme is youth. It seems that youth is well acknowledged to be the most precious time in our span of life. Youth has been praised highly and advocated to be cherished not only Samuel but also many old people. I had heard someone saying with sigh 'youth without money, money without youth'. Now we all are sophomores in the precious golden age whether we have money or not.

 

How should we spend our youth meaningfully? Boys usually play computer games rather than read books in the library. Girls go shopping rather than acquire knowledge from the lessons. Do you give up your enthusiasm and passion to pursue your dreams. We are losing our chances to improve ourselves. Our precious youth just slip away seconds by seconds unconsciously.

 

How should we spend our youth meaningfully? Boys usually play computer games rather than read books in the library. Girls go shopping rather than acquire knowledge from the lessons. Do you give up your enthusiasm and passion to pursue your dreams. We are losing our chances to improve ourselves. Our precious youth just slip away seconds by seconds unconsciously.

 

Let's get back to the question again. How should we spend our youth meaningfully? First step is knowing what you really want is. It is the most significant thing that you should take into consideration. After finding the direction, you must be motivated to pursue your goals and make efforts to achieve them.

 

Then I will tell you my message. Until several months ago, I had been quite confused about my future and couldn't find the real meaning of learning English. I nearly had given up my courses. At that time, I have received a message from my friend.

 

"Do you forget that you wish to become an English teacher and pass on the knowledge to those children who were really eager for them?"

 

Suddenly I got the answer and was encouraged to push myself on the way to seek. Everytime I had thought about the eyes of those children, I had made up my mind to help them once again. From this prospective, we don't have any time to waste! There's not another youth again for us. So do cherish your precious time and improve yourself!

 

I will conclude my speech quoting Samuel's poem once again.

 

"When the aerials(antennas) are down....., then you are grown old, even at twenty.

But as long as your aerials are up... there is hope you may young at eighty."

 

Up your aerials and live young until 100 years old. Thank you.

 

You didn't adapt any of my ideas. My idea was:

 

1) mobile phone and antenna including one more sentence from the poem

2) message from friend (It could be contributed one if you heard the advice from in person. But you received message from your friend.)

3) the phrase "youth without money, money without youth"

 

It is o.k. because it is your story.

 

But I have one suggestion for you. Post your essay on notebook, not discussion, once again to be corrected.

 

I'd like comment just one thing: You said "I couldn't agree with him more." But I don't know the meaning. To me, you and Samuel emphasize the importance of younger days.

Add a comment