By creating an account, you agree to our terms of service.
I am not sure if it is right to talk about things like that on italki. But I really need a way or a space for me to express myself now that I am in a very bad mood. :(
Did you ever encounter with that situation? Someone of your friends at work always talk to you about others bad things or bad charactor (he or she thinks),telling their gossips behind their backs? I am totally and ratherly rebelled about it, I don't want to hear about that, I'm definatly not a good listener concering matters like that and I hate to hear something negative.
It's really to much for me.
May I ask for some advice for handling such kind of troubles? I will be very thankful.
I have a similar situation at my work too. First 5 minutes I give a space my colleage to express herselfs after 5 or 10 minutes I have a strong urgency to go on the loo. She is enough intelligent to understand that our conversation finished. Try it several times. Maybe it will work for you too. I don,t cheat! I really need to go on the loo or to make a coffee or a tea or take a snack.
First of all, you should keep a calm heart. And what I will do if I encounter this situation is to prove what he/she said was wrong by action.
I'm pretty sure that those people never change, so all you need to think about is how not to associate with them without appearing self-righteous. Chances are, they speak ill of everyone who is not around. They are insecure and miserable, having no choice but to use other people to vent their negative feelings to relieve their frustrations.
You could judge them secretly but I would not advise you to do it openly.
On the outside, keep a smile but inside, feel sorry for those dispicable, low creatures. Take it easy.
First of all :
Why aren't you sure if it is right to talk about things like that on italki or not ?
Do you think that practicing languages means just speaking about language ?
I think practicing language means speaking about everything, and your language will become much better without you realizing that,
By the time, you will start to thinking this langauge, not just speaking it,
I hope that my point is clear,
To be continued . . .
( Warning : Be careful . . . Silly man wrote this comment . . . stay save and don't read it )
about friends who talk about people behind their backs . . . you have to choose one of those ways:
1 - put your finger in his/her eyes . . . and give him/her a slap on his/her face ,
2 - try to record the conversation & blackmailing him/her later,as you know . . . you can take money from them always . . . you can make him/her as your slave . . . asking them to do everthing for you . . . and there is no problem to give him/her a slap on his/her face from time to time,
3 - or you can put a serious look on your face, and tell him/her that :
( If you don't stop doing that, I will end any relation with you . . . and I will tell them what you just said . . . and I am very serious about that )
Trust me . . . Never share in such a conversation, even if by silence or listening,
but the most important thing . . . do you make the same thing ?be honest with yourself . . . and if the answer ( yes, some times )then, you should start your own first, before complaining from others, right?
Thank you to all of you. It was a great relief to speak it out and thanks a lot to you all for helping me and your idea.
I feel much better now and I believe I will find myself a good way to manage it. :)
you can agree with him and then say maybe it's not a good idea to bad talk somebody
Vivianne I perfectly agree with you...I don't like people that speak bad about others. I think that the main reason why someone do it is because he wants to influence your opinion.
Move on, You can't make them change, step aside.