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What would you do when your friend is talking about people behind their backs ?

I am not sure if it is right to talk about things like that on italki. But I really need a way or a space for me to express myself now that I am in a very bad mood. :(

Did you ever encounter with that situation? Someone of your friends at work always talk to you about others bad things or bad charactor (he or she thinks),telling their gossips behind their backs? I am totally and ratherly rebelled about it, I don't want to hear about that, I'm definatly not a good listener concering matters like that and I hate to hear something negative.

It's really to much for me.

May I ask for some advice for handling such kind of troubles? I will be very thankful.






I have a similar situation at my work too. First 5 minutes I give a space my colleage to express herselfs after 5  or 10 minutes I have a strong urgency to go on the loo. She is enough intelligent to understand that our conversation finished. Try it several times. Maybe it will work for you too. I don,t cheat! I really need to go on the loo or to make a coffee or a tea or take a snack.

First of all, you should keep a calm heart. And what I will do if I encounter this situation is to prove what he/she said was wrong by action.


I'm pretty sure that those people never change, so all you need to think about is how not to associate with them without appearing self-righteous. Chances are, they speak ill of everyone who is not around. They are insecure and miserable, having no choice but to use other people to vent their negative feelings to relieve their frustrations. 

You could judge them secretly but I would not advise you to do it openly.


On the outside, keep a smile but inside, feel sorry for those dispicable, low creatures. Take it easy. 


Thank you to all of you. It was a great relief to speak it out and thanks a lot to you all for helping me and your idea.

I feel much better now and I believe I will find myself a good way to manage it. :)

you can agree with him and then say maybe it's not a good idea to bad talk somebody     


Vivianne I perfectly agree with you...I don't like people that speak bad about others. I think that the main reason why someone do it is because he wants to influence your opinion.

Move on, You can't make them change, step aside.

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