I was thinking some time how anyone could write Serbian like this, but had no idea and then coincidentally i translated the Russian "Я не понимаю тебе. Я вижу тебе." with google translate, which gave me "YA ne ponimayu tebe. YA vizhu tebe." as the Latin version, which definitely looks similar to what you posted. So maybe your sentences are Russian, not Serbian, but the "latin" version of Google?

So funny, these inner-workings of Google Translate... After muddling around these two sentences for a moment, I'm guessing the original went something like this:

<em>If I were a dog and you were a flower, I'd lift a leg and give you a shower.</em>
<em>Ladies, it sucks major! I'm totally having a "twisted tea" recalls, I do not want to be stranded.</em>

It would be hard for a human to accuratelly translate this without the context, but expecting Google to know how to interpret "twisted tea" (which, I just learned, is a brand of hard iced tea ;), is a bit too much...