Emir , you don't say

I have gotten a few messages that indicate that not everyone is understanding that I was trying to be funny. Mostafa wrote something obviously "tongue in cheek" and Bruce in his inimitably high fashioned English way was playing with him so I was playing with Bruce too. 

Bruce's English is beyond reproach (I might start calling him Dr. Bruce as he sometimes writes like he's an English professor at a university!) so to say he isn't a native is pure sarcasm and please, do not think that I am actually suggesting that you must get drunk to become fluent in English..... 

....but it won't usually hurtn. ha ha ha. 

Well, it seems to be an useless website in case you do not read or write to my knowledge. It really helps me to some degree while I start to read people's writing and learn from native speakers how to express their feeling.

Mostafa, 

The only way for you to definitely become fluent on this site in 7 days is if you always stand on your head and drink peppermint schnapps in front of your computer while perusing and do that all day long. With enough peppermint schnapps and blood flow to your brain you will eventually believe yourself to be fluent and even tell everyone you are fluent. You will probably even start to charge others to get lessons with you as a native English speaker. It works every time. 

Peppermint Schnaps 

Stand on you head. 

Boom! You're native.

Bruce, I have been guessing for a long time now that you are not really a native English speaker. Only folks like us think that Mostafa is just kidding around and is very clever ... we must not really understand him.  ;) 

Mostafa, if I wanted to learn your language you would have won me over big time with your post! 

Everyone reply to me thinks me I'm serious , I'm only joking not any more in this discussion , thanks for replys