Would you want to date me? - That means "Would you want to go out with me for some indefinite period of time.

"Would you want to go on a date with me?" means "Would you like to go to dinner, or the movies, or some other activity?" but only asking for one event.

"Will you want to..." is future tense, as in, "When I get back from studying in Europe for nine months, will you still want to date me?"

"Are you certain that being "more direct" rather than "less direct" is appropriate when a young lady speaks to a young man about dating?"

Are you certain that it's appropriate to say what is or isn't appropriate solely based on gender?

 Hi Abbylala:

 I think the better wording of your question would be like this, which is  a slight variation

of your own construction.

"Would you ever want to date me?"    

 One might also ask; 

  "Do you think that you and I  are compatible  as friends,

or as  a dating couple?"

   Or;   "I wonder if you have ever considered dating me?"

  The use of either WOULD or  WILL   establishes a  provisional  meaning; but you can move beyond that somewhat limited sentence structure.  This will  allow you greater flexibility in meaning and expression.

     There are other ways of encouraging someone to   cultivate  your acquaintance that

are   intended to establish a more neutral relationship or a "noncommittal"   friendship.

Neither sentence is correct as it stands. 'Would' implies a question which may be hypothetical. It is subjunctive.It means here: "Would you be willing". "Will" is more direct: "are you going to date me?" Both sentences need the word 'to' before 'date'. I hope that helps

For example, you might suggest some interaction this way.

"Perhaps we could go out together sometime and talk about the difficulties in dating relationships.

I have my own questions about those things." (You might add; "If you like..." or "I would like that."

The perennial "neutral groud" in any relationship is the invitation for Coffee or Tea or something similar. One might say; "I'd love to talk over that issue if you would like to go out for coffee sometime?"

These allow you to spend time with someone, but without committing to anything further than

a "friendly conversation". This is very important, because sometimes you can suggest being closer to someone, but after talking with them, find out that they are not the kind of person you want to be very close to.

What do you think?