Whilst some people deem that increased consumerism is the vicious phenomenon, I strongly believe the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Notably, the high rate of consumption contributes to raise revenue for the government. As far as I am concerned, the rapid growth of expenditure is the integral condition to boost the internal and external trade. According to an economic magazine, The International Monetary Fund estimated that, on average, import duties accounted for approximately 15% of total government revenue for the developing countries in 2002. This means, rising purchase commodities of consumer is synonymous with instantaneous strongly imposing tariff on merchandises; hence, it leads to motivate both the galloping development of businesses and the financial government. In conclusion, I strongly believe that raising consumerism is essential for the government’s economic development. Nevertheless, my opinion is that government should deliberate to opt the potential economic policy which can preclude the risk of increased consumerism and shield the economic stability permanently.
Nevertheless, my opinion is that government
^ This is fine to say, but including an article (a, an, the) before 'government' would sound more natural. Many Asian languages leave out articles, but while speaking English it is a very evident way of knowing someone is foreign. Everything else looked perfect though!
I have corrected a small amount of grammar to make it more natural sounding. but most of this was PERFECT!
Whilst some people deem that increased consumerism is the vicious phenomenon, I strongly believe that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Notably, the high rate of consumption contributes to raise revenue for the government. As far as I am concerned, the rapid growth of expenditure is the integral condition to boost the internal and external trade. According to an economic magazine, The International Monetary Fund estimated that, on average, import duties accounted for approximately 15% of total government revenue for developing countries in 2002. This means, rising purchase commodities of the consumer, is synonymous with instantaneous strongly imposing tariff on merchandises; hence, it leads to motivate both the galloping development of businesses, and the financial government. In conclusion, I strongly believe that raising consumerism is essential for the government’s economic development. Nevertheless, my opinion is that government should deliberate to opt the potential economic policy which can preclude the risk of increased consumerism and shield the economic stability permanently.
thanks you <3
I corrected it for you :)
Whilst some people deem that increased consumerism is a vicious phenomenon, it appears to me that its advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Notably, the high rate of consumption, contributes to the raise of government revenue. As far as I am concerned, the rapid growth of vendee is an integral condition to boost the internal and external trade. Moreover, tariff is an effective tactic which imposes on the merchandises to raise revenue. According to A World Bank study, tariff helps the India finance approximately 21 % in the period from 1994 to 2003. This means that increasing purchase commodities of consumers, is synonymous with strongly imposing tariff on merchandises galore; hence, it motivates both the galloping development of businesses and the government’s financial policies. Taking everything into consideration, I strongly believe that raising consumerism is essential for the government’s economic development. Besides, I recommend the government should deliberate to opt for the potential economic policies, which can preclude the risk of increased consumerism and shield the economic stability permanently.
if u have time, thanks
