Sandra
I need help to know what are the mistakes of my class redaction!

This musical is about a 20 years old girl called Amy. Amy has a happy life and everything goes well until her boyfriend break up with her and she argue with her friend, it’s when Amy begins her drug addiction by depression. She thinks that drugs is the only way to feel better. After a year she won’t realize how bad drugs are. Amy try to overcome her drug addiction and solve her problems. But finally she dies of overdose.

This story is a reflection about how dangerous drugs are, how difficult is to get over them, and show that drugs is not the solution of problems

Apr 27, 2015 6:58 PM
Comments · 1
1

I need help to know what the mistakes are in my class redaction.

Direct question, "What are the mistakes?"

Indirect question, I want to know what the mistakes are.

like "Where is the bus?" He wants to know where the bus is.

20 year old girl (no s)

breaks up with her (I break, you break, he breakS)

she argues with her parents (I argue, you argue, she argueS)

drug addiction because of depression -- or drug addiction brought on by depression

she thinks that drugs ARE the only way

Amy tries to overcome (try to think about adding an s to the first person singular verb in the present tense)

She dies of AN overdose.

This story is a reflection about how dangerous drugs are and how difficult IT is to get over them, and IT showS that drugs ARE not the solution TO problems.

Well, Sandra. That wasn't bad at all. Omitting the "s" on the third person singular verb structure accounted for about half of the mistakes. Then there was the thing about un-reversing the word order in an indirect question and remembering that drugs are plural (which you did half the time). Then just a few small preposition things. Well done!!

April 27, 2015