Sandra
I need know what are my mistakes in myGraduation Speech!!!

These days, people is talking about future. Parents and teachers asked us what we want study and what are our future plans. We, as students, have been wonder these question since we was in the school. But now, at present, I want that you think is what said John Lennon once. When I was 5 years old my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down happy. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand the life. Now, I am who asks you what you want to be when you grow up? Life is too hard and too short at the same time. You have to find what really you love, I mean, your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be satisfied is to do the work that makes you happy. If you haven’t known yet, keep looking, you will know when you find it. We have to exceed the achievements of those who graduated before us. So…. Makes as many the mistakes as you can and learn about it, change your mind and change it again because nothing is permanent, don’t waste your time living someone else’s life and most important have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, everything else doesn’t matter.

May 6, 2015 11:00 PM
Comments · 6
1

This should be a notebook entry. Also, while Dave did a pretty good job, he missed a couple things at first glance. With something this long that's natural, but to give you a couple examples I would say

 

... what our future plans are. 

... I want you to think...

 

Also I would say "but right now..." Instead of "but now, at present,"

 

(There might be more, I just looked at the first couple sentences)

 

May 7, 2015

Now, I am who (asks asking) you what you want to be when you grow up? Life is too hard and too short at the same time. You have to find what really you love, I mean, your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be satisfied is to do the work that makes you happy. If you haven’t known yet, keep looking, you will know when you find it. We have to exceed the achievements of those who graduated before us. So…. (Makes Make) (mistakes as many the mistakes) as you can and learn (about from) (it them), change your mind and change it again because nothing is permanent, don’t waste your time living someone else’s life and most important have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, everything else doesn’t matter.

 

I'm for cutting it in two parts but it didn't allow me to post more 2000 chrachers.

I hope it be useful ..

May 7, 2015

One last suggestion...

 

We, as students, have been wondering these question since we first started school.

 

should be

 

We, as students, have been wondering about these questions since we first started school.

May 7, 2015

 

These days, people is talking about future. Parents and teachers asked us what we want (to) study and what are our future plans. We, as students, have been wonder (these this) question since we was in the school. But now, at present, I (want that you to think is in) what (said) John Lennon (said) once. When I was 5 years old my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand the life. 

May 7, 2015

We, as students, have been wondering these question since we first started school.

 

is better worded...

 

We, as students, have been wondering the same thing since we first started school.

 

(Unfortunately I can't edit my previous message)

May 6, 2015
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