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Nothing wrong with your translation. Just my two cents of translation as an exercise. Mine is in blue.
Chinese to English Translation Practice 1
“In this truly small world,
So wee is the world and
My university feels so big,
yet so large is my Q 1 University!
Out of all universities in China, it is the biggest,
Though it is the largest university in China,
yet, there is nothing spectacular to say about it.
Nary is there anything to boast about.
The Titanic was also big,
The Titanic too was big,
最后还不是喂了鲨鱼？ Love these two lines!
In the end, wasn't it fed to the sharks? Wasn't it in the end that it was fed to the sharks?
Unexpectedly, graduation time has arrived,
To my surprise, it came too soon,
就有必要坚持到底。 I need to stay strong to the end.
Peseverarance needed to the end.
Already, I have so much emotion surrounding this university.
Moreover with Q University, ties were forged,
I will not forget where I have come from
Through thick and thin, I abandon thee not.
1. Must be the slang for some local university in China which I have no idea the author is referring to. In terms of largest acreage of the campus, it is the Huazhong University of Science & Technology. Not sure his definition of "largest", student population? Largest faculty etc.
2. Translating idioms are the most difficult lot. The literal translation is
"Coarse looking is my wife, I shall cast her not away from the hall." For those not familiar with Chinese history details, this is an allusion to a general under Kwang Wu Ti, the founder of the Western Han Dynasty.
During Wang Mang's usurpation, the loyal general was injured during battle and the future emperor was forced to leave him with the care of a certain family while he fled further south. Finally when the general recuperated under the tender care of the kind hearted but ugly looking daughter of the household, they were married. After he distinguished himself in battle and regained the throne for Kwang Wu Ti, he was entrusted greatly by the emperor.
Now the emperor had an older sister who was widowed and she was not used to the widowhood. The emperor loved his sister dearly and decided to be the matchmaker. Each time, a match was suggested, the sister would turn it down. In the end, the emperor found out the reason. She was in love with the general. Since he is the emperor, nothing could be easier. That's what he thought. When the matchmaking came, the general refused and uttered that line. This made him greater in the eyes of the emperor for not abandoning those who endured hardship with him.
Later, an opening line, 貧賤之交不可忘 (Friendship during hardship shall not be forgotten) was added to make this into a couplet.
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