In the palace, after paying great carnal passion to [What you wrote meant that in two hours the queen will be birthing and the kind is still making love to her! Now that would be unwise] making sure his queen is well cared for by the ladies-in-waiting, the King Alfred [This is a good time to introduce him] went into the royal chapel and prayer room, knelt kneeling before the golden cross, praying for an heir...
He would get one His wish indeed will come true!
What you have here is a great storyline which you can turn into a novel! I was surprised at the unexpected turn of events.
“Oh?, you Still possessing that kind of such royal arrogance? Well, after having been deposed, Now know this truth: your whole entire family was hanged!”
“Now I offer you an opportunity for vengence to avenge this. The queen consort Elizabeth of your enemy, Elizabeth, according to my prediction, will conceive her first son be in labour in two hours later. If you are willing to Abandon your present life, and I can make you to reincarnate you as their future heir and . Then, you can…”
“I agree!” Without further ado, he replied.
“Take Now an oath of vengence revenge!”
“I shall reincarnate as the male heir of Alfred and Elizabeth. And I shall be The last king of that kingdom I shall become and be the last man of that family. All shall die before me!”
The lady handed the king a small pill.
He followed obyed without hesitation her command.
Soon, he fell Onto the soil, became he lapsed into unconsciousness.
The lady began her incantation, lifting herself as she rose from the ground. Suddenly, the king’s body began burning was engulfed in flames and within a few seconds, both the lady and the king's body vanished into the air. [who vanished?]
In the forest.
The deposed king kept running, without any clear direction.
He was Like an injured rabbit, a pride of lions was after him.
Without awareness consciousness, he ran into soon found himself in another part of the forest.
Upon seeing this, the commander stopped at once; so did all the other soldiers.
Here, the trees were as high as modern skyscrapers [see the later comment on humanoids] mighty and towering into the heavens in the part of the forest; the vegetation, unlike elsewhere that which was verdant in the previous part, was and some appearing in different coloursful; also, one shall never encounter Neither an animals were seen nor an insect to be heard (but there was a though rumour has it that ancient hominids [You should not mix in scientific terms of modern day into such stories. You don't want to remind the reader of the real world. You are spinning a tale of fantasy. You must make them feel as if they were there in the story as the main character.]human-like creature were still lurking in these parts. living in that area) in there; extraordinary Defeaning silence was one of seems to be an innate the feature of the part of the forest. It is as though the real world dare not intrude into here. as if every signs of the world had been obliterated.
“I am now safe, very safe,” thought he.
He had stopped running.
“This is really a It must be Paradise. Eden must should [You cannot use "should". It implies he had been to Eden before]be like this.” he murmured to himself.
Suddenly, a lady appeared before him and spoke,
“Your Majesty, how dost thee fare do you do?”[Too modern and colloquial. You should give revererence to this being and not some common harlot] the lady uttered.
“Who are you?” The king replied asked tiredly and though in calmly. It seemed that the sudden appearance of the lady being had failed to surprise him.
“I am the guardian of this sacred forest, the Lady Jane,” she continued, “I had heard of your great misfortune. Therefore, in great haste, I came to your assistance.”
“Yah. Coincidentally, Yes, your foe is also my enemy! mine.”
“How are you going to Pray thee, how can you help assist me? With your powers mojo?” [Arthur, you really should not use modern slang indiscriminately in such kind of stories. If you were writing a modern fairy tale, then depending on the setting, then it is Okay. Using it in Disney's The Frog Princess, then it is okay since it took place in the appropriate place. By the way, Disney had ripped off the excellent book of the same name. The book is much better. No wonder the movie was a flop.]
“Your Majesty, there is one thing you need to be informed first.”
It dawned on him thatNow the truth is out. He had been deceived by the general, or his more accurately, the royal master of the general.
“I would like to pray first,” said he.
“Do it quick!” the commander said.
Then the king sank on his kees and began to pray.
“Forgive me, my Lord,” as he whispered to himself, after saying when his prayer was done.
All Out of a sudden he pulled out an extremely small bottle from the inside of his left sleeve and raised it high.
“Do not Approach me not! If not, For I shall open this minuscule bottle and scatter the poisonous powder into the air!” he bellowed, brandishing the bottle for all to see aloft.
Upon seeing this, instinctively they immediately braced themselves with their hands into their faces bent their bodies down[This makes no sense]. The king quickly grasped the opportunity and to escape, sprinting towards the forest for his escape.
“Don't not shoot the arrows! [Of course with arrows. This story took place in the days of old.] Get him!” the commander ordered thundered at his soldiers.
Together with some one hundred soldiers, they started the chase went on a hunting spree. [This sounds comical to me. If you story is a comedy, this would be OK].
The Prince (Part 2)
You must compose yourself! Remember you are a King!" Be kingly!”
In his confusing state of mind of flux, he gradually fell asleep.
The next morning, he woke up very early. In his boredom, his musing resumed.
“If my father were still alive, what would he do? Would it still be possible that my kingdom be conquered by these barbarians? [Remember, the father was still alive when all this happens. The kingdom was overran on his watch!] Perhaps. These day, The Anhujki Kingdom has become mortally mighty. There were fourty-eight kingdoms on this continent fifty years ago, excluding ours his and mine. Today, only five surviving ones still survive- Anhujki, Antoiq, Mieieeon, Quqzklooju and Fairtpinss. Of the fourty-three kingdoms which were conquered, thirty-three of them are now under the sovereignty of Anhujki. I suppose the other remaining four kingdoms will soon also face the same fate as mine do.”
Suddenly, the carriage stopped. A commander and a soldier came and unlocked the door.
“Get out!” the commander ordered sharply. uttered.
A terribly terrible and horrible omen premonition began to grow permeate in the king’s mind. Nevertheless, with great composure, he rose raised from his seat, and opened the door and got to step out of the carriage.
Standing still, he breathed deeply. Then, he stretched his limbs in pleasure pleasurably.
“On your kneesl!” the commander shouted to him, “Yooouur Maajiieeessstyyyy!”
Unperturbed, the king questioned, “What is the meaning of this?” the king enquired unperturbedly.
“It is to His Majesty’s pleasure to have your life ended. His Majesty has offered You have three options, beheading, to be beheaded,quartering to be quartered, or to be hanging. Pray Select one of them which you feel will serve as you feel the most appropriate you best,” replied the soldier.
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