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Some selective additional corrections:
when luc besson just became had just become a father
(Needs a past-perfect/pluperfect verb tense)
The quoted text is spoken English, so it doesn't need to be grammatically or stylistically correct but...
Only then do do they start coming out. DO is quite correct!
angelical (someone's suggested correction) - that's not a real word - angelic is the word. But "angel's voice" is ok anyway or "the voice of an angel" may be better.
They hug each other, but still remain (needs a verb) lonely - maybe only can feel each other's warmth just each other's chest temperature can exchange.
Understood what you meant but it is wasn't quite English.
Verb tenses are miixed in this passage - it seems it should be written in present habitual tense - I just highlight and 'Bold' the verbs:
Every time Jacques descends to into the bottom of the sea, he doesn't care if he breaks the world record. ...is his world ..., . He just went back he is just returning to his real home,
it is only one in the world fatefully. I don't quite understand - do you mean 'fate makes it the only freedom'?
The Big Blue (capital initials on titles)
“The Big Blue” is not a movie that is dedicated to the love，but it's a retrospective that is dedicated to the daughter of Luc Besson, when he just became a father. (space after any puctuation marks, never before it) It was more like an essay.
“Do you know how to do to meet a mermaid? You go down to the bottom of the sea where the water isn't even blue anymore, where the sky is only a memory and you float there, in the silence. And you stay there, and you decide that you'll die for them. Only then do they start coming out. They come and they greet you and they judge the love you have for them. If it's sincere, if it's pure, they'll be with you and take you away forever....." It is a fairy tale to Joanna but a belief to Jacques. "Les Grand bleu" is larger than life and even more important than love. The man is in pursuit of his ideal world, however, the womon's women's ideal world is her man. They hug each other but still lonely, maybe just each other's chest temperature can be exchanged. Life was destined that they would love each other but fate decided they can only enjoy freedom alone. Every time Jacques goes into the bottom of the sea, he doesn't care if he's breaking the world record. Deep blue sea is his world, the memory of his childhood, his father, his best friend "Reynolds" and the most important thing of his life: the mermaid are waiting for him in the cold blue sea. He just went back to his real home, more and more deeper and deeper...Eternal blue, the freedom of loneliness, it is only one in the world fatefully. In the real grey world, we are the most lonely dolphins (refers to "we", which is plural). At the end of the film, the little mermaid in Jacques's (no "s", after a name ending with "s") dreams really came. (I think you need a new paragraph here)
Maybe our life lives (our is plural) will have a fragile moment, like Jacques' (it refers to Jacques' life, so it is "possesive"). There is a lonely dolphin with an angelical voice calling you "hey, I'll take you to the world that you belong to", in that piece of deep blue. Would you, like Jacques, put aside the diving to followed it away? Most of us do would not choose that way, like Jacques did, cherishing the present and staying for the people around us. We are all grown-ups. Of course, sometimes in a dream, the lonely dolphin will swim to us from time to time (redundant as you said "sometimes"), so hold the people around you tightly.
C'est la vie ，l'amour ne sont pas tout (sorry, I cannot speak French)
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