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a book or a film about the future you read or watched

this is a topic of ielts verbal test. i prepare it as follows:

[The film called “cyborg she” is a memorable film for me. I watched it last year.
The film begins with an encounter between J and a strange girl who gives J the most unforgettable day in his life but leaved soon.
The story then jumps to one year later and J meet that mystery girl again. But this time she is different. she reveals her true identity by showing him a 3D projection of J’s own future appearance as a more aged person who spent all his time to create a cyborg who looks the same as that mystery girl and let her travel through time to meet the present J, cause he miss her so much. And the old J warns present J about an upcoming disaster in which the cyborg girl will die for saving J. and eventually it really happens. Distraughtly, J spends the next 70 years trying to rebuild her. He eventually succeeds, although he passes away soon afterwards.
This film is more than anything a work of creative imagination. It is filled with enduring love and tear-shedding plot. They touch the bottom of your heart. When I finished the film, I was moved by the set pieces that distill the story’s eternal love to its essence. ]

can you give me a score from 0 to 9 ? thank you :)

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    a book or a film about the future you read or watched

    this is a topic of the verbal portion of the ielts. verbal test. i prepare it as follows: Here is what I have so far: 

    The film called “Cyborg She” is a memorable film for me. I watched it last year.
    The film begins with an encounter between J and a strange girl who gives J the most unforgettable day in his life but leaves soon after.
    The story then jumps to one year later and when J meet that the mystery girl again. But this time she is different. She reveals her true identity by showing him a 3D projection of J’s own future appearance as a more aged person who spent all his time to create creating a cyborg who looks the same as that the mystery girl. and He let her travel through time to meet the present J, because he missed her so much. And The old J warns present J about an upcoming disaster in which the cyborg girl will die for saving in order to save J. and Eventually the events foretold it really happens. Distraughtly, J spends the next 70 years trying to rebuild her. He eventually succeeds, although he passes away soon afterwards.
    This film is more than anything a work of creative imagination. It is filled with enduring love and tear-sheddingjerking plot. They It touches the bottom of your heart. When I finished the film, I was moved by the set pieces that distill the story’s eternal love to its essence.

    can you give me a score from 0 to 9 ? thank you :)

     

    Comments:

     

    I'm not really qualified to give a score, but if were I forced to give one, I'd give a 7. Your writing is very clear and you summarized the plot very well. The only mistakes you made were small ones that even native speakers sometimes make. Good luck on your IELTS!

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