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My attempt at translating a traditional Korean folk-tale into English: The Dog and Cat (3)

(This is the last piece of the work.)

At the moment when the greedy hag opened the door and looked out, they dashed in through the crevice.
And they started gnawing at even a folding screen, a papeterie, and a cedar chest.
This upset her so much that she picked up the pillow and flung it at them.
"Shoo! Shoo! Get out!"
For that, the bead in the pillow rolled out.
The rats snatched it and ran away with it.

The cat received the bead from them and she released the boss rat as promised.
She held the bead in her mouth and promptly jumped on the back of the dog.
While swimming across the river, the dog kept worried about the bead.
"Are you holding it all right?"
The cat did not answer.
"Again, are you holding the precious bead all right?"
The cat did not answer again.
Nay, she could not say anything, for she was holding the bead in her mouth.
"Tell me! Are you holding the precious and marvelous bead all right?"

He kept on asking, and it angered her.
"Mew, Don't worry!"
Right at the moment, the magic bead rolled out of her mouth, and fell into the river.
Good heavens!
The cat's amazement was so great that the fur on her part stood stiff.
But the bead was already away in the river anyway.
The dog took umbrage at the cat. "Bowwow! You should have been careful!"
The cat took more umbrage back at the dog.
"Mew, So, why did you keep on asking?"

When they were across the river, they were exhausted.
They felt bad and hungry.
Then, there was a fish had been brought by a fisherman to the side of the river.
It occurred to the cat that it would be good to bring home at least something to eat.
So, she snatched it and ran away home with it.
The dog ran along with her.
"The cat has brought a fish. I'm so proud of her."
The old man cut the stomach of the fish.
Good heavens! What do you think happened?
The lost magic bead sprang out of the stomach of the fish!

Now, the old man and the old woman could live with nothing to worry about.
He got a new boat, and the pot was always full of rice.
The old man and the old woman stroked the dog and the cat every day.
How much were they proud of them and thankful for their bringing the bead back?
Since then, the dog guarded the door in the yard lest the greedy hag should come.
And the cat too protected the bead in the room in case the greedy hag came.
The old man and the old woman lived with the dog and the cat happily ever after, helping each other.

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    My attempt at translating a traditional Korean folk-tale into English: The Dog and Cat (3)

    (This is the last piece of the work.)

    At the moment when the greedy hag opened the door and looked out, they (who?) dashed in through the crevice narrow opening of the door, and started began (started works but began is better) gnawing at even a folding screen, a papeterie some stationary, and a cedar chest.
    This upset her the hag so much that she picked up the pillow and flung it at them.
    "Shoo! Shoo! Get out!"
    For that, the Because of this, the magic bead (if this is the first time your are mentioning the bead, write "a magic bead instead of the magic bead) in the pillow rolled out.
    The rats snatched it and ran away with it.

    The cat received was given the bead from them (who?) and she released the boss rat as promised.
    She held the bead in her mouth and promptly jumped on the back of the dog.
    While swimming As they began to swim across the a river (use "the river" instead of "a river" if this is the first time the river is mentioned), the dog kept worried worrying about the bead.
    "Are you holding it all right ok?" (all right works, ok is better)
    The cat did not didn't (did not works, didn't is better) answer.
    Again, "are you holding the precious bead all right ok?"
    The cat did not answer again.
    Nay, she could not say anything, for she was holding the bead in her mouth.
    "Tell me! Are you holding the precious and marvelous bead all right?"

    He kept on asking, and it angered her.
    "Mew, Don't worry!"
    Right at the moment, the magic bead rolled out of her mouth, and fell into the river.
    "Good heavens!" said the cat.
    The cat's Her amazement was so great that the fur on her part stood stiff.
    But The bead, however, was already away gone in the river anyway.
    The dog took umbrage at was extremely bitter toward the cat. "Bowwow! You should have been careful!"
    The cat took more umbrage became more bitter back at the dog.
    "Mew, So, why did you keep on asking?"

    When they were across the river, they were exhausted.
    They felt bad sad (bad works, however, sad makes more sense here) and hungry.
    Then, there was a fish had been brought by a fisherman a fisherman brought a fish to the side of the river.
    It occurred to the cat that it would be good to at least bring home at least something to eat, so she snatched it the fish and ran away home with it.
    The dog ran along with her.
    "The cat has brought a fish. I'm so proud of her."
    The old man cut the stomach of the fish.
    "Good heavens!" said the old man, "What do you think happened?"
    The lost magic bead sprang out of from the stomach of the fish!

    Now, the old man and the old woman could live with nothing to worry about.

    He The old man got a new boat, and the pot was always full of rice.
    The old man and the old woman stroked the dog and the cat every day.
    How much were they They were so proud of them and thankful for their bringing the bead back!
    Since then From that day on, the dog guarded the door in the yard lest the greedy hag should come, and the cat too protected the bead in the room in case the greedy hag ever came again.
    The old man and the old woman lived with the dog and the cat happily ever after, helping each other.

     

    Even without my corrections your English is very clear and easy to understand!!

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