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I would like to learn how to use better English expressions(10)

 

He came to my house, smiling the minute he saw me. His smile made me glad despite some doubt about his behavior. “Hey, you’ve changed much!” He asked with his smile growing. “Why are you so fat?” It is natural that if someone pulls my leg, I have to pulls his leg immediately. “I have been concentrated on my studies in the house and haven’t worked out for months.” I said with my face smiling as well, “That is why it happened to me. You know what, Why do you look older than your age?”

Another version)

Upon his walking in my house and seeing me, he smiled. I was glad at his smile in spite of some doubt about his behavior. “Hey, you are a ghost of your former self!” He asked with his smile getting big. “Why are you so fat?” It is human nature that if I get angry at his scoffing, I have to get even. “I have been devoted to my studies in the house and haven’t exercised for months.” I answered with my smile filled. “That is why my figure is beginning to round out, so.. I was just wondering.. Why are you look for your age?”

I would like to learn how to use better English expressions, so I hope you can help correct errors in my writing.
:-)

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    Corrections

    I would like to learn how to use better English expressions(10)

     

    He came to my house, smiling the minute he saw me. His smile made me glad despite some doubt even though I have reservations about his behavior.

     

    “Hey, you’ve changed much!”

     

    He asked jabbed, with his smile a grin growing like a Cheshire Cat! 

     

    “Why are you so fat?”

     

    It is natural that if someone pulls my leg, I have to pulls his leg retort back immediately.

     

    I have been I'm sitting on my ass concentrating on my studies all the time. concentrated on my studies in the house and Haven’t have the time for the gym. worked out for months.I said with my face smiling sweetly as well.

     

    “That is why it what had happened to me. You know something? what, Why do You look older than your age!

    Another version)

    Upon his Walking into my house and upon seeing me, he smiled. I was glad at his smile in spite of some my doubts about him his behavior.

     

    “Hey, you are a ghost of your former self!”

     

    He ribbed me asked with his smile getting big.

     

    “Why are you so fat [looking]?”

     

    It is human nature that if I get angry at his scoffing, I have to get even.

     

    “I have been devoted devoting all my time to my studies. in the house and haven’t No exercised for months.” I answered with my smile filled. I replied. 

     

    “This is why my figure is beginning to round out."

     

    Suddenly, my repartee took aim and fired,


    "How come you look so old? No sex?"

     

    so.. I was just wondering.. Why are you look for your age?”

    I would like to learn how to use better English expressions, so I hope you can help correct errors in my writing.
    :-)

    I would like to learn how to use better English expressions (10)

     

    He came to my house, smiling the minute he saw me. His smile made me glad despite having some doubts about his behavior. “Hey, you’ve changed so much!” He exclaimed (use "exclaimed" because the quotation ended with an exclamation mark) with his smile growing. “Why are you so fat?” It is natural that if someone pulled my leg, I had to pulls his leg back immediately. “I have been concentrating on my studies in the house and haven’t been working out for months,” I said with my face smiling as well, “That is why it happened to me. You know what,(use "by the way" instead - "you know what" is used before you reveal a piece of information usually) Why do you look older than your age?”

    Another version)

    Upon his walking into my house and seeing me, he smiled. I was glad at his smile in spite of having some doubts about his behavior. “Hey, you are a ghost of your former self!” He exclaimed with his smile getting big (or, he exlaimed while widening his smile). “Why are you so fat?” It was human nature that if I got angry at his scoffing, I would have felt that I had to get even. “I have been devoted to my studies in the house and haven’t exercised for months.” I answered with my smile filled (not sure what this means. "with a grin?"). “That is why my figure is beginning to round out, but so... I am just wondering: why don't you look for as young as your age?”

    I would like to learn how to use better English expressions, so I hope you can help correct errors in my writing.
    :-)

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