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Self-introduction(the Graduate Record Examination retest,please help me,thank you!)

Good morning,dear teachers. I am very glad to be here for this interview. My name is Li yang Liu, 22 years old. I come from Rao He,a very beautiful county of Heilongjiang Province.In the year of 2009,I entered Hai Nan University ,majoring in Applied Chemistry. During these years I studied hard and I was always active in various activities.
In the everyday life,I like thinking,which will not only allow me to gain more knowledge but also make me more mature.In my spare time,I like playing basketball ,table tennis,computer and reading books. When I do that, I can focus on it, and forget other things, it really makes me happy.
Taking part in the Graduate Record Examination is a turning point in my life.In this process which is really very valuable.I have solid my professional basis,enhanced my standard of English,understand the current state of our country and the relevant national policies.I know there are still a lot of knowledge that I need to learn.Please give me a postgraduate opportunities.Thank you!

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    Self-introduction(the Graduate Record Examination retest,please help me,thank you!)

    Good morning, dear teachers. I am very glad to be here for this interview. My name is Li yang Liu, 22 years old. I come from Rao He, a very beautiful county of Heilongjiang Province. In the year of 2009, I entered Hai Nan University, majoring in Applied Chemistry. During my time there, I studied hard and I was always active in various activities.
    In the everyday life, I like thinking about different subjects, which will not only allow me to gain more knowledge, but also make me more mature. In my spare time, I like playing basketball, table tennis, working on the computers and reading books. When I do something, I can focus on it, and forget other things, which really makes me happy.
    Taking part in the Graduate Record Examination is a turning point in my life. I consider this process to be quite valuable. I have solidified my professional basis, enhanced my standard of English, understand the current state of our country and the relevant national policies. I know that there are still a lot of knowledge that I need to learn. Please give me an opportunity for postgraduate work opportunities.Thank you!

     

    [Your English is quite good.  The corrections were mainly subtle differences in expression.  Good luck.]

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