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Farewell to My Concubine

Yesterday was the anniversary of Leslie‘s death, and I watched Farewell to My Concubine again.

Since I like Cheng Die Yi so much, why do I think I can be Ju Xian? Especially the kind of woman she represents is who I disgust most. Unfortunately, to some extent, she was also Cheng Die Yi's mother symbolically, who Cheng could not get rid of no matter what. However, he denied her for his whole life, didn't he?

Just like the title says: "If Lin Dai Yu did not set poem manuscripts on fire, would she still be Lin Dai Yu?" Everytime I recall this kind of story, I feel that I just want to be isolated. I admire Cheng Die Yi, who could finally live a life which was "purely come and purely go". Comparatively, people like me have been stuck to too much mud and mire. All the social things are so pointless. The best way is live in the world of art.

I extremely dislike Ju Xian. But oddly, if this kind of person is living in reality and who I know, I might like her. She is so Chinese.

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