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So why do we live? What is life? Many people tell can tell you many things.[I think it is a universal fact.] However, none is the real answer, just consolations. Of all creatures, only man is aware of his own mortality and the concept of eternity. Knowledge cuts both ways. Should I be a mayfly whose existence lasts but a single day in a carefree manner in which mating is the only instinct it possesses? Or be a man waiting for his impending doom while suffering from the ravages of time. Old Age is nothing more than deaccelerated AIDS, slowly hacking away your immune system in the intervening years.
I am moved by your essay. It make me read it in succession. It suddenly occurred to me “Might a mayfly be afraid of death?”
I offered you a book. :-) Here is a link “http://www.docstoc.com/docs/41250396/Danielle-Ofri---Living-Will”
Life is but a dream and yet others insist that it is a dream of a butterfly dreaming a life of a man.[Could you tell me what “a dream of a butterfly dreaming a life of a man” is? Butterflies can’t live a long life. Did your intend mean that the same goes to man?] Such are the philosophical consoling of one’s eventual fate. Science has a cold way of explaining things. Each a neuron shutting down, like a star disappearing from the night sky. Too soon nothing but darkness harkens. Still, what about our conscience then? This… I am afraid that no one have ever come came back from the great beyond to answer.[I think anyone can’t come back from the great beyond not only in the past but also in the present so I used present perfect.] If so, religions will cease and philosophies will perish but time still marches on.
Today I can't find many errors in you writing! I did my best!! :-)
Too soon, the wintery days of one’s life come knocking on your doorstep. What would you do then? As for me, I have tons of old diaries to keep me warm; to discover things that I had long forgotten. What I did on such and such a day… What happiness or sorrow was on that date? The worst case scenario would be to turn the books into logs for the hearth! Yes, even at the tender age of twelve, I was planning for the demise of my dream on this earth. Morbid, some would say but others a wise choice to make. Whatever the case may be, it was a choice already made.
I didn’t find any errors in your writing. However, I have questions to ask. ;-)
1.The difference between “What would you do then?” vs “what will you do then?”
I look up the dictionary for the word “would.” Is your intend you used “would” that you are referring to the result or effect of a possible situation?
2.The worst case scenario would be to turn the books into logs for the hearth!Could you tell me why you threw the books into logs? I am wondering.. I am certain that it has the reason.
3. Morbid, some would say but others a wise choice to make.I don’t understand this sentence. Could you express it in another way for me?
The flowers are now in bloom and bees busying with their destiny[How about "Bees busying for spring?"].[The reason you added “the” in front of flowers is that it is spring flowers?] Butterflies here today, gone tomorrow![I think it is poetry. It is stronger to me than “Butterflies come here today and go tomorrow!”] Leaves are luxuriant and warmth everywhere.[Could you tell me the difference between “warmth is everywhere” and warmth everywhere? I learnt it from grammar that in case the first sentence and the second sentence is the same verb, we can left out the second sentence’s verb. e.s)You played with me and Jack with him. But I have doubted it since I learnt from you.] Too soon, trees will turn red and naked once more they will become.[I want to know the difference between “they will become naked once more” and “naked once more they will become.”] Time waits for no man or beast. Whether you live or die, the world[I want to offer you "this world"] goes on and the planets circle round the sun. This too will change, just in the matter of time. Nothing is constant, nothing is forever.
I can’t help but to call it poetry. :-) I didn’t find your errors through eagle eyes. I did my best! ^ ^
The falling fallen leaves are gone.[I think the falling leaves means that leaves is falling now and the fallen leaves means that leaves is on the ground. I think you figuratively depicted winter through this sentence. Thus, I changed falling to fallen.] Bare branches now littered with tiny green.[Your intent is that you want to emphasis on this sentence so you used incomplete structure. Difference between bare branches now are littered with tiny green and Bare branches now littered with tiny green. e.g) Difference between It is homework hard to me and Homework hard to me. I learnt it from you. Could it be right?] Spring is here and too soon like its predecessor, summery days will come be over. [Spring melts away and then the summer shines. Could I say like this?:)]Time passes too fast, we are now almost into the fifth month, half a year almost gone. I remembered well when I was fifteen… Now twice that I have had become.[I relize through this writing that you already are 30 years old now.] Too soon, thrice I should be, if I am able to live that long. I ask myself what I have had accomplished since then. Very well, I should say but at what cost? I sold myself! Some would say and while others consoled that it was the only path to take. Sure there are regrets and there are convictions that were right. No matter what, time passes by with nary a care to whether you are right or wrong – just like some impassioned stranger passing by. No tears or laughter for you but yourself. God helps those who help themselves, so they say. How true or how false is just one personal opinion.
While I am reading this writing, I feel like I am walking around forest listening to a sweet piano melody. I rememer regrets I made... when I was fifteen... It is good that I am reminded of my old days. Thank you! ^^ I did my best!
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