check my essay please!^^

In globalized society, it is widely believe that learning something is enough during the academic period. sSome advocate that education is a dependent matter because education becomes useless after being an adult. However I disagree with this perspective. I firmly believe that people should be educated throughout their life. fFirst, education makes people to share new ideas. sSecond, educated people can use the latest technology more effectively.

First of all, education makes people to share new ideas because they have knowledge to share with other people. To be specific, people absolve a valuable idea through honest feedback, and if they would not listen to one another the flow if ideas will cease. For example, Steve jobs, Apple CEO believed that constructive criticism presents opportunities for new ideas. The iPod(Ipad), a tablet computer, that rippled across the world was not only job's idea. He accept criticism from different experts on his team and gradually adapted the design. This example shows that education allows people to exchange new ideas.





In addition, education enables people to use new technology. tTechnology is good way to get information. To be specific, valuable information about society is transmitted through the Internet and television. Television broadcasts present relevant information through captivating images and educates viewers. For example my sister watched a documentary on the korean warKorean War. The documentary presents different complied interviews and shows heretofore unpublished photographs. My sister became newly aware of these past events and started to learn the issue on her own. This example shows that education helps people to access technology.


In conclusion, these are my belief believes, and that my argument has been precisely delivered with these reason as mentioned above.
Never should we forget that which may affect us on our lifes.




Ps -pPeople should be educated throughout their life because education is the most powerful weapon they can use to change the world as well as their lives.

수정아, 잘했어요!  Don't forget about capitalization and punctuation. 

check my essay please!^^

In a globalized society, it is widely believed that learning something is enough during the academic period. Some advocates that education is dependent matter because education becomes useless after being an adult. However I disagree with this perspective. I firmly believe that people should be educated throughout their life first, education makes people to share new ideas, secondly, educated people can use the latest technology more effectively.

First of all, education makes people share new ideas because they have the knowledge to share with other people. To be specific, people absolve valuable idea through honest feedbacks, if they would not listen to one another, the flow of ideas will cease. For example, Steve Jobs, Apple CEO believed that constructive criticism presents opportunities for new ideas. The iPod, a tablet computer, that rippled across the world was not only Job's idea. He accepted criticism from different experts on his team and gradually adapted the design. This example shows that education allows people to exchange new ideas.





In addition, education enables people to use new technology. Technology is good way to get information. To be specific, valuable information about society is transmitted through the Internet and television. Television broadcasts present relevant information through captivating images and educates viewers. For example, my sister watched a documentary on the Korean war .The documentary presents different complied interviews and shows heretofore unpublished photographs. My sister became newly aware of the past events and started to learn the issue on her own. This example shows that education helps people access technology.


In conclusion, these are my belief that my argument has been precisely delivered with these reasons as mentioned above.
We should never forget that it may affect on our life.




Ps -people should be educated throughout their life because education is the most powerful weapon they can use to change the world as well as their lives.

check my essay please!^^

In a globalized society, it is widely believed that learning something is enough during the academic period. Some advocate that education is a dependent matter because education become useless after becoming an adult. However I disagree with this perspective. I firmly believe that people should be educated throughout their life first, education makes people to share new ideas second, educated people can use the latest technology more effectively.

First of all, education makes people to share new ideas because they have gain knowledge to share with other people .To be specific, people absolve valuable ideas through honest feedback if they would not listen to one another the flow of ideas will cease. For example, Steve jobs, Apple CEO believed that constructive criticism presents opportunities for new ideas. The iPod, a tablet computer, that rippled across the world, was not only job's idea. He accept criticism from different experts on his team and gradually adapted the design. This example shows that education allows people to exchange new ideas.





In addition, education enables people to use new technology. technology is good way to get information. To be specific, valuable information about society is transmitted through the Internet and television. Television broadcasts present relevant information through captivating images and educates viewers. For example my sister watched a documentary on the korean war .The documentary presents different complied interviews and shows heretofore unpublished photographs. My sister became newly aware of the past events and started to learn the issue on her own. This example shows that education helps people to access technology.


In conclusion, these are my belief that my argument has been precisely delivered with these reason as mentioned above.
Never should we forget that may affect on our life




Ps -people should be educated throughout their life because education is the most powerful weapon they can use to change the world as well as their lives.

check my essay please!^^

In a globalized society, it is widely believe that learning something is enough during the academic period. Some advocate that education is dependent matter because education become useless after being an adult. However I disagree with this perspective. I firmly believe that people should be educated throughout their life. First, education gets people to share new ideas. Second, educated people can use the latest technology more effectively.

First of all, education gets people to share new ideas because they have knowledge to share with other people .To be specific, people absolve valuable idea through honest feedback if they will not listen to one another the flow of ideas would cease. For example, Steve jobs, Apple CEO believed that constructive criticism presents opportunities for new ideas. The iPod, a tablet computer, that rippled across the world was not only Job's idea. He accept criticism from different experts on his team and gradually adapted the design. This example shows that education allows people to exchange new ideas.





In addition, education enables people to use new technology. Technology is good way to get information. To be specific, valuable information about society is transmitted through the Internet and television. Television broadcasts present relevant information through captivating images and educates viewers. For example my sister watched a documentary on the korean war .The documentary presents different complied interviews and shows heretofore unpublished photographs. My sister became newly aware of the past events and started to learn the issue on her own. This example shows that education helps people to access technology.


In conclusion, these are my beliefs that my argument has been precisely delivered with these reasons as mentioned above.
Never should we forget that may affect on our life

I don't understand this sentence.  may => main?


Ps -people should be educated throughout their life because education is the most powerful weapon they can use to change the world as well as their own lives.