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* Это более естественее или соответствует текущим трендам в английском.
Hi! I've already written, that my name is Yulya (Julia, Yulia). I'm 23. I don't know how to describe this. :) So at first I'd like to write about my job. I finished the Law Faculty at the last year (a year ago), now I'm working at our tax office. Before, this I worked as a criminal investigator for two years. I have a great hobby - dancing. I'm a professional bellydancer, and bellydancing is my life. The next Мy other passion is to study languages (My second favorite passion is language learning). It's so fun. I think we begin to understand other people and nations through studying their languages. (sorry for this sentence, I don't know how to say this in English right :)
Ваше предложение правильно построено, не переживайте. :)
I have a dream to see Berlin and NY, and I believe I'll do it some day.
I'll be glad to meet new friends and teachers here! And if you need some help in Russian, I'll always help you (I am always happy to help you).
Вы такой разнобразный человек, любите изучение языков, танец, и работаете в налоговой службе. Я как раз готов исправлять ваши заметки, так и для многих людей.
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