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Please correct my journal :)))

2013/8/11
I went to the beach with friends.
After that we went to eat to the thirty-one ice cream. We ate triple ice creams. After that we went to a bar that's the style of cave. It was cool!! But we'll not to go to the bar again. It was unkindness ;(

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    Corrections

    I went to the beach with my (you could also use the word 'some') friends. 

    After that, we went to Thirty-One Ice Cream and ate three ice creams. (This is the name of the shop, right? Then the first letter should be capitalized. Correct me if I'm wrong. However, 'ice cream' sounds redundant ;a;). We ate triple ice creams. After that Then we went to a bar that has a style of a cave. It was cool!! But we are not going to that bar again. It was unpleasant

    Please correct my journal :)))

     

    2013/8/11

    I went to the beach with my friends.
    After that, we went to eat to the thirty-one ice cream shop.(Is it a shop?) We ate triple three ice creams. After that (You may change to " In addition"), we went to a bar that's has the style of cave. It was cool!! But we'll would not to go to the bar again. It was unkindness  rude.( Or you may say " The service was bad and the waiters and waitresses were rude.)


    Hope it will help you...^_^

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