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Asking a favor

Dear Martin,

I want to tell you that I'm travelling to the Pyrenees next week. I'll stay for 10 days in a country house. So, I can ride a horse and hike but I can't ride a bike because they don't rent bikes there. I also want to take to see a stage of the Tour of Spain. I should forget about everything this holidays because I have so much stress accumulated. Before we leave I have to bring my bonsais to my mother to take care of them in my absence. Back from my trip I have to fix my father's hospital issues.

I want to ask you a favor. Could you help my mother with my bonsais? You have more knowledge about trees, and plus she will thank you from the heart. I also will be enormously grateful. If you want, on my return we catch up over a beer and talk about all our affairs.

Looking forward to speaking to you soon

Best wishes.

Fernando

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    Asking a favor

     

    Dear Martin,

    I want (You could also say "I wanted") to tell you that I'm (You could also say "I will be" or "I'll be") travelling to the Pyrenees next week. I'll stay for 10 days (You could also say "I'm going to stay 10 days") in a country house. So, I can (You could also say "I will be able to") ride a horse there and hike, but I can't (It would be better to say "I won't be able to") ride a bike because they don't rent bikes there.

     

    I also want to take to see a stage ("to see a stage" is not a common phrase in American English, but I believe it is the correct way to say this in the UK) is not of the "Tour of Spain" (I would enclose this in quotes to emphasis that it is a proper noun and not a description). I should hope to (You could say "I hope to", "I should hope to", "I plan to", or "I can't wait to") forget about everything this holidays because since I have so much stress accumulated (You could also say "I've been so stressed lately").

     

    Before we leave I have to bring my bonsais (I would say "bonsai trees" or "bonsai plants") to my mother to take care of them in my absence (You could also say "So that she can take care of them while I am gone"). When I get back from my trip, I have to fix (I would say "take care of" instead of "fix") my father's hospital issues (or "issues at the hospital").  

     

    I want to ask you a favor. Could you help my mother with my bonsais? You have more knowledge about trees, and plus (you could say "I'm sure" instead of "plus") she will would thank you from the bottom of her heart.  I would also will be enormously grateful.

     

    If you want, on my return, we should catch up over a beer and talk about all our affairs (In American English "affairs" should be avoided as the term refers primarily to illicit romantic activities). 


    Looking forward to speaking to you soon

    Best wishes,


    Fernando

     

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    Great job, Fernando!  The text in blue gives you a few other ways to say the same thing.  I didn't see very many errors at all.  The one suggestion I have for is with the usage of "will" or "would". We used "would", the past tense of "will" both to be polite and to talk about things that we expect to happen, but may not actually happen (I believe this is similar to the subjunctive in Spanish).  

     

    Example 1:  (To be polite)

    Instead of saying "I want this candy bar" you would say "I would like this candy bar".

     

    Example 2 : (To talk about things we expect to happen, but may not actually happen)

    Instead of saying "I wish you will come" you would say "I wish you would come".

     

    Example 3:  Both 

    Instead of saying "If you can take care of my Bonsai tree, my mother will be grateful", you would say "If you can take care of my Bonsai tree, my mother would be gratefuly".

     

     

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