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Introduce Myself

Hi , boys and girls ! I am Sun Yingying , ome from Zhoukou city , Henan Province . You also can call me Angela . I am an outgoingirl,who like sports ,music traveling and especially making friends .I hope to become friends with you .
Everyone has their dream ,me ,too .I will try my best to improve myself to become more perfect ,so that I can make my dream of becoming super interpreter come true and make something of myself .Of course , I also hope to live with my relatives and friends happily .

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    Introduce Myself

    Hi , boys and girls! (and old guys too 哈哈)  I am Sun Yingying , ome from Zhoukou city , Henan Province . You also can call me Angela . I am an outgoin girl, who likes sports, music, traveling/travel and especially making friends. I hope to become friends with you .
    Everyone has their dreams, me too. I will try my best to improve myself to become even more nearly perfect (perfection has no degrees, there is no 'more perfect'), so that I can make my dream of becoming super-interpreter come true, and make something of myself. Of course, I also hope to live with my relatives and friends happily and in harmony.

     

    Space comes after punctuation, not before!!!

    Original

    Introduce Myself

    Hi , boys and girls ! I am Sun Yingying , ome from Zhoukou city , Henan Province . You also can call me Angela . I am an outgoingirl,who like sports ,music traveling and especially making friends .I hope to become friends with you .
    Everyone has their dream ,me ,too .I will try my best to improve myself to become more perfect ,so that I can make my dream of becoming super interpreter come true and make something of myself .Of course , I also hope to live with my relatives and friends happily .

     

     

    Corrections and Suggestions

    Introducing Myself

    Hi , boys and girls ! I am Sun Yingying who  comes from Zhoukou city , Henan Province . You also can call me Angela . I am an outgoing girl who like sports, music,  travelling and especially making friends. I hope to become friends with you.
    Everyone has their dream, me too. I will try my best to improve and myself to become more perfect fluent, so that I can make  my dream of becoming a super interpreter come true and make something of myself. Of course, I also hope to live happily with my relatives and friends happily .

     

    Suggested wording - Everyone has a dream, myself included.

    Perfect is an absolute. So you cannot be less perfect or more perfect, you are either perfect or not perfect. Many native English speakers make the same mistake so don't let that bother you.

    I have substituted "fluent" for "more perfect" as I assume that you are talking about English language competency. However perfect is a noble ambition in any field :-)

    I have moved happily as I think that it reads better.

    You could also say " so that I can achieve my dream of becoming a super interpreter  and thereby make something of myself." However what you have is not incorrect.

    Notes

    Please take note that I have moved the spacing around a lot of your commas and full stops. The order is punctuation mark - space - next word.

    so  dream ,me ,too         becomes  dream, me, too.


    That is a good effort, you have the basic sentence structure in a foreign language (which has a different sentence structure) and a good vocabulary.  Nothing that you originally wrote was fundamentally incorrect and many native English

    writers would have written the same thing.

     

     

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