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Feb.20

Today some light exclamations hit in my ears, then I opened my eyes, found that a truck almost hit the bus. I did not feel scared, because I already knew it did not happen. I was thinking if it really hit the bus, the glasses maybe break apart, then I would be disfigured. The thought did not scare me neither. There must be something wrong with me.
My cousin got married yesterday, we had a feast. She is very young and still at school. She got pregnaned so she has to get married. Her father is rich, so no one was surprised about that. They could do nothing and held the happy wedding for her. I feel nothing about that too, nothing special thought. If I have a baby without a happy and safety circumstances, I maybe scared of thinking can not bring the baby happy. If you can not bring happy thing to the baby that you don't deserve to have a baby. Anyway, I will not have a baby by now, so I choose to let my brain blank

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