Tagalog Magbiro (Mabirong Tagalog)

Hello, I tried to translate some Pinoy jokes.

GUNTING
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AMO: Inday natanggal mo ba ung mantsa sa barong ko?INDAY:
Opo kuya, tanggal na tanggal!AMO: Good! Ano pinantanggal mo?
INDAY: GUNTING po!

Amo: Can you remove the stains of my uniform please1!
Inday: Sure my brother, I will remove them all!
Amo: What do you need to remove them
(what kind of remover pina-tanggal do you need)?.
Inday: Sissors please!

ERAP
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Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, yong attendant nataranta.
Attendant: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase. ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago!


Erap broke a vase in a Museum.The attended there was perpleced, dumbfounded.
Attendant: oh sir, more than 500 years old
Erap: Ah thanks, I thought so!

MUSEUM
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Sinoli(bahasin?) ni Erap ang libro sa aklatan.
ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng aklat ng telepono namin!

Erap as reading a book in the library.
Erap: So many letters and no story!Libraryan:
You took our telephone-directory(telephonebook)!

Tagalog Magbiro = Tagalog To Joke  

(Mabirong Tagalog) = Joking Tagalog

Mga Birong Tagalog = Tagalog Jokes

GUNTING (Scissors)
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AMO: Inday natanggal mo ba ung mantsa sa barong ko?

INDAY: Opo kuya, tanggal na tanggal!

AMO: Good! Ano pinantanggal mo?
INDAY: GUNTING po!

Master/Boss: Inday were you able to remove the stains off my "barong"? 
Inday: Yes, older brother, totally removed!
Master/Boss: Good! What did you remove them with?
Inday: Scissors, sir!

"Barong" comes from "baro" (dress).  "Barong Pilipino" is the traditional and very formal upper body, long-sleeved attire of Filipino men.  It used to be quite expensive because they were made from fine, but usually flimsy material.   However, in the latter part of the last century, more common and durable materials were used to make them more affordable and suitable for formal daily use.  A short-sleeved version also became very popular at that time and up to now these can be commonly seen as the semi-formal office attire for men.  Hence, the concept of it being an office uniform came about.     

"Kuya" means older brother.  However, it has also evolved as a term used to address an older man outside of one's family.  Among housemaids, this is how they'd commonly address their male masters, as in the case of this joke.  Sometimes it is even used to address any man whose identity is not known to the speaker.  For example, if someone goes to a store to buy something, the male sales person is commonly called "kuya" by the buyer.  "Ate" (older sister) is the female counterpart of this address.      

"Inday" is the name commonly used for housemaids in jokes.

ERAP
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Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, yong attendant nataranta.
Attendant: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.

ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago!

Erap accidentally broke a vase in a Museum, the attendant was dumb-founded. 
Attendant: Wow, sir, that vase is more than 500 years old.

ERAP: Whew, thanks.  I thought it's new.

MUSEUM
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Sinoli(bahasin?) ni Erap ang libro sa aklatan.  ("Sinoli" = returned; "bahasin" = not a Filipino word; "basahin" = to read)
ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng aklat ng telepono namin!

Erap returned the book to the library.
Erap: So/Too many letters, but no story!

Librarian: So, it was you (sir) who took our telephone-directory (telephone book)!

ERAP is the nickname of our former president, Joseph Estrada.  He was a popular actor, usually playing the role of the "common man", before he joined politics.  He was first a mayor, then a senator, and eventually, the President.  It is commonly believed here that his rise in politics was almost exclusively due to his popularity as an actor.  Though he had some formal education, his level of intelligence was assumed to be that of the "common man" at best.  Hence, jokes about that aspect of his persona were rampant just before he became and during his term as President.  These jokes may have been from that time.