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    阿山嘅大佬好唔開心。佢唔開心,因為佢要將啲錢畀一個想拉佢細佬嘅警察。阿山嘅大佬唔開心個陣,佢鍾意飲早茶。因為佢細佬走路,所以佢唔使無得(here, more sensible to say he 'cannot' go to the airport by his brother's car rather saying that he 'doesn't have))坐細路揸嘅車去機場。(飛機 is airplane; 機場 is airport, which is widely and officially accepted already)佢要去機場(It's weird to say he has to go to the airport because he doesn't want to have breakfast in Shanghai),因為佢唔想系上海早茶。(上海人means Shanghainese, 系 is a preposition in front of a place but not a person)佢請一個朋友去上海飲早茶。兩個人坐地鐵去機場之後,佢哋坐飛機到上海。
    佢哋去上海一個好乖(It is an adjective to describe a person, usually a kid, who is obedient and well-behaved. If you want to say the tea house is famous, you can say 好出名,or 好受歡迎 for the meaning of popular.)嘅茶樓飲早茶。系茶樓,佢哋叫咗好多。因為阿山嘅大佬好鍾意食叉燒包,佢叫咗兩份。佢哋都叫咗一份腸粉、一份蘿蔔糕同埋一份蒸餃。佢哋冇點蒸蝦餃,認為阿山嘅大佬嘅朋友過敏(對蝦敏感)。有日(佢)個朋友係香港個陣,食咗一份蒸蝦餃之後,差啲死左。


    阿山嘅大佬好唔開心。佢唔開心,因為佢要將啲錢畀一個想拉佢細佬嘅警察(you can used the word"差佬" in a informal situation, 'cos "警察" is a little bit formal)。阿山嘅大佬唔開心個陣,(the subject can be omitted here coz you have already saied it in your last sentence)鍾意飲早茶。因為佢嘅細佬走路,所以佢唔使坐細路揸嘅車去飛機場。佢(之所以)要去飛機場,(喺)因為("之所以" and "喺因為" like two friends, they must be use together, if you use one of them, then you must use the rest one in your next sentence, and use them will make you writing or words more logical)佢唔想系上海人早茶。佢請一個朋友去上海飲早茶。兩個人坐地鐵去飛機場之後,佢哋坐飛機到上海。
    佢哋去上海一個好乖(???)嘅茶樓飲早茶。系茶樓,佢哋叫咗好多。因為阿山嘅大佬好鍾意食叉燒包,佢叫咗兩份。佢哋都叫咗一份(better use"一碟", 'cos"腸粉" is placed in plates)腸粉、一份蘿蔔糕同埋一份蒸餃。佢哋冇點蒸蝦餃,認為(因為)阿山嘅大佬嘅朋友(say it like "阿山大佬個朋友" is way more simple and better)(add"對蝦", you have to say allergic to what)過敏。有日(同)個朋友係香港個陣,食咗一份蒸蝦餃之後("喺食咗一份蒸蝦餃之後"or"食咗一份蒸蝦餃),佢差啲死左。

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