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First notebook entry: Introducing myself

你们好! 我叫安尼. 我是英国人. 我已经学习汉语两年. 我现在想跟母语人练习汉语. 我还可以帮助你学习英语. 我很喜欢学习语言, 但是我觉得汉语是世界上最难学的语言, 所以我需要你的帮助!

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    First notebook entry: Introducing myself

    你们好! 我叫安尼. 我是英国人. 我已经学习汉语两年. 我现在想跟母语人练习汉语. 我还可以帮助你学习英语. 我很喜欢学习语言, 但是我觉得汉语是世界上最难学的语言, 所以我需要你的帮助.

    I don't know this is your Chinese composition or just a message you left here, anyway, I think you've done very well. I don't think there's any other mistakes except the RED and the "但是“。 For the RED , the correct one should be "母语是汉语的人” or just "中国人“。For ” 但是“ , you should know that a sentence begin with it usually expresses just the opposite to the prior one.  And here obriously    "我觉得汉语是世界上最难学的语言" and "我很喜欢学习语言" has no contradiction at all,therefore, you know, just get rid of "但是” or replace with an "and" , it'll be much better.  

    Your article is pretty good except for the two mistakes.  Unlike others, I think there's no necessary to make your article a perfect one published in a magazine or books. We Chinese also write something exactly your way. Two things you need bear in mind in learning a language:  confidence to face doubt and respect to the language itself. 

     

    First notebook entry: Introducing myself

    你们好! 我叫安尼. 我是英国人. 我已经学习汉语两年. 我现在想跟母语人练习汉语. 我还可以帮助你学习英语. 我很喜欢学习语言, 但是我觉得汉语是世界上最难学的语言, 所以我需要你的帮助!


    很高兴你喜欢学习汉语,虽然它有点难但是相信你从里面会学到很多有趣的文化。

    First notebook entry: Introducing myself

    你们好! 我叫安尼我是英国人我已经学习汉语两年 我现在想跟母语是汉语的人练习汉语与此同时,(remove)可以帮助你学习英语我很喜欢学习语言但是(remove)我觉得汉语是世界上最难学的语言所以我需要你的帮助(这个可以这样写,其实好多中国人也这样写,不过楼上说的生硬的原因我认为是:重要的东西或者人物最好放在主语位置上,这样说话比较客气,会听着更舒服,你让别人帮你,当然要把对方放在重要位置上了。)!

    Now I would like to practise my Chinese with a person whose mother tongue is Chines. At the same time, I can help you with your English.

    还(still): When u use this word, I think u should keep the subjects always the same and also keep the actions similar. "I practise" means actually "I need help from you" or exactly "You help me" , but "I help you with your English" means this "help" action in the opposite direction. Therefore, u can change this sentence into a new sentence: "U help me and I still help u." This new one is weird, isn't it?

    In a word, make sure the subjects the same AND the actions similar when using "还".

    I hope what I explained doesn't make u more confused. :-)

    Red            =   Capitalization
    Orange      =   Relocated - Moved
    Blue           =   Correction and Spelling
    Green        =  More natural - Common                      
    Purple        =   Comment - Suggestion
    Underline =   Punctuation - Spacing

    First notebook entry: Introducing myself

    你们好! 我叫安尼. 我是英国人. 我已经学习汉语两年. 我现在想跟母语是汉语的人练习汉语. 我还可以帮助你学习英语. 我很喜欢学习语言, 但是(这句有明显的转折关系吗?不用“但是”比较好,可以用“而”but可以翻译成“而”)我觉得汉语是世界上最难学的语言, 所以我需要(这里用“需要”很生硬,中文很讲究语气,就像can 和may might,这里用 “请你们帮助”——所以我请你们帮助我。即可)你的帮助!

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