Mona
WRITING of IELTS _To have more and more artworks is good or not? It is wrong that our government pay more money to the artist projects, for instance, there are more and more paintings and sculptures appearing at the public places, because there are more important thing to do. What‘s you opinion? Do you agree or disagree with it? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ There is a tendency that the increase artworks are showing and appearing at the public peace, which is a positive phenomenon for people I think. So, in my view, I agree with that the government should keep going these behaviors in the long run. Obviously, with the various style of artistic works displayed in people’s horizon, it brings a lot of benefits to folks. For example, owing to that each art project is involved diffident idea, experience and emotion of their maker, it can inspire and enrich people’s thinking that gives them another perspective of life. In addition, most of artist projects are pretty colorful or special such as the unique pattern, strange shape and abstract structure, those spectators can have entertainment and pastime from those creative and fancy things. Besides, some outstanding works can be a landmark of the city to dedicate and represent the image of their city like Eiffel Tower, Sydney Opera House and so on. However, we can notice that to build or create those stuff that need a lot of times and money from the government to support the whole progress. So if our authority cannot guarantee the quality of each expensive work, it can be useless and waste our finances. Also, due to the limited and pricy space of city, those gigantic sculptures or statues are occupying some many valuable lands and spaces, which is narrowing down the range of people’ activities. Generally speaking, my personal answer to the purpose of creating variety artistic works in society is beneficial and worth for people muchly.
Apr 14, 2014 3:29 PM
Corrections · 3

WRITING of IELTS _To have more and more artworks is good or not?

It is wrong that our government pay more money to the artist projects, for instance, there are more and more paintings and sculptures appearing at the public places, because there are more important thing to do. What‘s you opinion? Do you agree or disagree with it?

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There is a tendency that the increase artworks are showing and appearing at the public peace, which is a positive phenomenon for people I think. So, in my view, I agree with that the government should keep going these behaviors in the long run.

Obviously, with the various style of artistic works displayed in people’s horizon, it brings a lot of benefits to folks. For example, owing to that each art project is involved diffident idea, experience and emotion of their maker, it can inspire and enrich people’s thinking that gives them another perspective of life. In addition, most of artist projects are pretty colorful or special such as the unique pattern, strange shape and abstract structure, those spectators can have entertainment and pastime from those creative and fancy things. Besides, some outstanding works can be a landmark of the city to dedicate and represent the image of their city like Eiffel Tower, Sydney Opera House and so on.

However, we can notice that to build or create those stuff that need a lot of times and money from the government to support the whole progress. So if our authority cannot guarantee the quality of each expensive work, it can be useless and waste our finances. Also, due to the limited and pricy space of city, those gigantic sculptures or statues are occupying some many valuable lands and spaces, which is narrowing down the range of people’ activities.

Generally speaking, my personal answer to the purpose of creating variety artistic works in society is beneficial and worth for people muchly.

Phillips correction

 

There is an increase in the amount of artworks showing and appearing at public places, which is a positive phenomenon for people I think. So, in my view, I agree that the government should continue this in the long run.

 

Obviously, with the various style of artistic works displayed, it brings a lot of benefits to folks. For example, owing to the fact that each art project involves different ideas, experience and emotions of their maker, it can inspire and enrich people’s thinking giving them another perspective of life. In addition, most artist projects are pretty colorful or special; such as unique patterns, strange shapes and abstract structures, spectators can take entertainment from those creative and fancy things. Besides, some outstanding works can become a landmark of the city it was created in, dedicated to representing the image of their city like the Eiffel Tower, Sydney Opera House and so on.

 

However, we can notice that to build or create such things requires a lot of time and money from the government in support of the whole process. So if our authority cannot guarantee the quality of each expensive work, it can be useless and a waste of finances. Also, due to the limited and therefore pricy space of city, those gigantic sculptures or statues are occupying valuable land and space, narrowing down the range of people’s activities.

 

Generally speaking, my personal answer to the purpose of creating a variety of artistic works for society is that is is beneficial and worthy for people's enjoyment.

 

June 20, 2014

WRITING of IELTS _To have more and more artworks is good or not?

 

Is it wrong that our government is increasing its monetary outlay on art projects? There are more and more paintings and sculptures appearing in public places because this is seen as important. What‘s your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with it?

 

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There has been an increase in the amount of artworks appearing in public places. I think this is a positive sign for the public and believe that the government should maintain this behaviour for the long term.

 

The varied styles of art works displayed on people’s horizons provide many benefits. For example; owing that each art project expresses the different ideas, experiences and emotions of their creator, it can inspire and enrich people’s way of thinking and give them another perspective of life. In addition, most of these artworks are colorful and special in their unique patterns, strange shapes and abstract structure, and the public can be entertained as a pastime from these creative and fancy things. Furthermore, these outstanding works could become landmarks of the city that are dedicated to represent them; like the Eiffel Tower and the Sydney Opera House and so on.

 

However, we should also realise that it requires time and money for the government to support this process. So if our authority cannot guarantee quality and the expense, it could become a useless waste of finances. And furthermore, due to the high prices and limited space within cities, these elaborate works will occupy valuable areas, and this in turn may narrow down the range of people’ activities.

 

My personal thoughts, however, on providing artistic works in society are that it is beneficial and highly worthwhile.

I apologise for any mistakes and the confusion which might occur from them.  

April 21, 2014

WRITING of IELTS _To have more and more artworks is good or not?

 

Is it wrong that our government is increasing its monetary outlay on art projects? There are more and more paintings and sculptures appearing in public places because this is seen as important. What‘s your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with it?

It is wrong that our government is increasing its monetary outlay on art projects. There are more and more paintings and sculptures appearing in public places because this is seen as important. What‘s your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with it?



I was unsure of these opening words so I have provided two examples. One that asks the question; “Is it wrong…” and one that makes the statement; “It is wrong…” Either way, it doesn’t matter because you have provided the opportunity in the last two sentences for the reader to agree or disagree. 

 

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There has been an increase in the amount of artworks appearing in public places. I think this is a positive <em>sign</em> phenomenon for the public and believe that the government should maintain this behaviour for the long term.


phenomenon” has a different kind of meaning so I have substituted it with the word, “sign”. I have also replaced, “for people” with, “for the public” because it is a more common way of expressing the larger group you wish to – (<em>are wishing to)</em> – define or describe. I have made other changes too. Please ask me about them if you require any further clarification. 

 

The varied styles of art works displayed on people’s horizons <em>brings a lot of benefit, or;</em> (<em>provide many benefits</em>) to them. For example; owing that each art project expresses the different ideas, experiences and emotions of their maker <em>creator</em>, it can inspire and enrich people’s way of thinking and give them another perspective of life. In addition, most of these projects <em>artworks</em> are colorful and special in their unique patterns, strange shapes and abstract structure, and spectators (<em>the public</em>) can be entertained as a pastime from these creative and fancy things. Besides Furthermore, these outstanding works could become landmarks of the city that are dedicated to represent them; like the Eiffel Tower and the Sydney Opera House and so on.


Even I struggled with pluralisation in the first sentence. English can also be difficult for English teachers; especially an unqualified one like me. This a long paragraph with a few changes. Again, please ask if you need me to explain them further. 

 

However, we should also notice <em>realise</em> that it requires time and money for the government to support this process. So if our authority cannot guarantee quality and the expense, it could become a useless waste of finances. And furthermore, due to the high prices and limited space within cities, these gigantic <em>elaborate</em> sculptures and statues works will occupy valuable areas, and this in turn may narrow down the range of people’ activities.


The reader is already aware of the subjects; “creating public art” and “government expenditure”. These details do not need to be repeated. Again, there are more changes than this, and again; ask if you need to. 

 

My personal thoughts, however, on providing artistic works in society are that it is beneficial and highly worthwhile.


“Muchly” is not really a word in ordinary English, although it is cute, and I have used it before; usually after drinking wine at a party.

 

You have great mind, and one day you will be an amazing communicator in English. I will also  post another correction without any notes that is more representative of how I think your meanings should flow. 

April 21, 2014
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