summer
How to make this paragraph more appealling and powerful? By immersing myself in other cultures, listening to each individual’s stories and learning other languages, I hope to have a more open mind, a kinder heart and broaden my horizons. I can begin to see beyond all the stereotypes and misconceptions that divide people, and help build bridges of communication between us. The future of this world depends on the connections we make across the globe. Leaders would then acquire a better awareness of foreign cultures, and this can lead to improved communication between us. I hope to be more confident, more persevering and more inspiring. And I hope to encourage the people I meet to achieve their goals and pursue their dreams, and to develop cooperation so we can all share a better world. PS:I wish to make this paragraph more appealling and powerful,I don't know what other words I can use to replace all the "i hope" and "i want",if you have more elegant words,please help me and thank you! :)
Apr 17, 2014 8:19 AM
Corrections · 2
1

Honestly, I didn't think that repeated use of "hope" didn't bother me because the paragraph flowed well, but here are some suggested variations if you want to change it up a bit:

 

By immersing myself in other cultures, listening to each individual’s stories and learning other languages, I seek {more active than just "hoping"} to have a more open mind, a kinder heart and broaden my horizons.

 

I hope to be more confident, more persevering and more inspiring. => I strive for greater confidence, perserverance and inspiration. {more determined, less wishy-washy}

 

And I resolve {more of a promise} to encourage the people I meet to achieve their goals and pursue their dreams, and to develop cooperation so we can all share a better world.

April 17, 2014
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