TOEFL iBT essay - Could you please correct my grammatical mistakes?
Below is an essay I wrote as an exercise for the TOEFL iBT writing test. There was a time limit, so the quality may not be as good as it would be with lots of time, but I tried my best. I would very much appreciate it if you could correct my grammar mistakes.
Task 1: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In twenty years there will fewer cars in use than there are today.
I disagree with the statement; I think that in twenty years (time) there will not be fewer cars in use than there are today.
Firstly, twenty years seems (a specific quantity of time, rather than each individual year) a little too unrealistic for such a revolutionary change. It is probably not enough time for our transport system/personal vehicles to radically evolve. What’s more, even if a new vehicle was invented, it is highly likely that it will not be affordable for the public/masses at first. Usually, when new machines are introduced into the market, the target is mainly the rich people (<em>or</em> the rich).
For the all cars to vanish completely(¿?)/For the number of cars in circulation to reduce, we would have to wait for a monopoly between multiple companies that sell a new kind of vehicle, which would bring down the costs. ('Monopoly' means complete market domination, usually by one company. It is the opposite of competition. Do you mean 'wait for the cost of production to decrease so that new types of vehicles are affordable'? The question does not specifiy between electric or fuel combustion cars though. I assumed the question refered to individual cars versus mass public transport?)
Therefore, twenty years will not be enough for the reduction of car use. However, a new type of fuel though may be invented to replace oil. The use of beets and corns is already seen sporadically in some parts of the world, so it is highly likely that more environmentally friendly resources may be sought in the next twenty years.
Nevertheless, cars are necessary for many people. Bicycles and motorcycles are only suitable for short distances, and only allow one person to be transported, and airplanes and ships are only practical for extremely long distances, and are also too expensive for everyday use.
Some places do not have railways (infrastructure), which will eliminates the option of trains.
Unless a new type of vehicle is invented, with the status quo (as it stands), car use is unlikely to be reduced/to reduce, even after twenty years.
To conclude, because cars are useful and affordable, and because twenty years seems too short a time-frame for another type of vehicle to be invented, I disagree with the above statement.
Thank you!
Very interesting and well written! All the best for you studies!
