Corrections - Red

Suggestions - Green

Daily note

I watched the news about a big Korean big fall sinking into the sea. I'm so so sorry that many students were were inside the ship. The Japanese government should give help to Korea as soon as they can. That captain of the ship escaped from the ship before many of the crew and custmer passengers got out from the ship did. And  He lay he is not captain (I don't know what you mean with this sentence). He may be a suspect. His responsibility is was big and he has to pay for the many people his loss  he lost. And One thing we can do is pray for safety.

Daily note

I watched news about a Korian big Korean ship fell that sank in the sea. I'm so so sorry to hear that there were many students are inside the ship. Japanese government should give help to Koria Korea as soon as we they can. That Captain of the ship escaped from the ship before many clues were found and custmer passengers could go get out from the ship,and he lay he is not captain. He may be suspect was suspected as the one who was responsible. His responsible is big,and he has to pay for many people his loss. [If he can be caught] he will have to pay for many people's loss. And one thing we can do is pray for those people's safety.

Notes:

1. I think the correct phrase should be "sank in the ocean", but maybe "sank in the sea" is alright.

2. If it's Japanese people, you can use "we". But if it's Japanese government you should use "they".

3. I do not understand what you meant by this sentence "and he lay he is not captain", please rephrase.