I am boring and pessimistic. I do not sleep at night. I sometimes devote myself thinking about things that do not exist yet. I am scared of what future leads me, a frightening prospect. My parents think I am depressed because I spent most of my time in my room and only have a so-called best friend that is “computer”. My neighbours think I am crazy because they heard me speaking and laughing alone at midnight. Little did they know that I was actually just teaching my students or practicing my English. I rarely go out except for work which is only three days in a week.

Last night I did not sleep as usual. I did not feel so weary. I lied on my bed with my eyes widely open. I put my hands under my head as a pillow. I let my Skype on, but spoke to nobody. Silences ensued; night was so quiet that I could hear the wind sweeping the fallen leaves. My roosters were crowing, yet it was still 2 am when I saw the clock. I was doing nothing except constantly staring the lamp that is hung on the ceiling whose light was quite bright enough to dazzle my eyes. Thoughts were colliding in my mind, memories of the past rose anew. No matter how much I did not want to recall it-I recalled it anyway.

I was remembering series of events, starting from the most vivid things happening in the highschool to the current things I’ve just encountered. I had become the laughingstock of my classmates, presumably because of my face looking pale every time the teachers called my name. I did not fear of teacher. I feared of being pointed at and not being able to solve the problems. Once it happened, my skin turned into grayish, my heart beat faster, my face and palms were sweaty as I could not control my nervousness. The entire of students burst out laughing afterwards.

I am a low-grade student; I sometimes appeared more foolish than I actually was. Although I sat with one of the smartest students in the class, I never took benefit of her. She always considered me as her best friend, but I did not. All I know is that the term of friends only suit to those people who always help each other. And I did not think she fell into that category. Well, we played outside the class, but she’s treating me more like her competitor than her friend in the class, and never trusted me. I was not good at math and physics; hence she always used a pretty big book to hide her answers while doing the exams. She was probably afraid that I would steal her answer.

My name was often listed on remedial lists. Once I had been announced that I was the only one who did not pass the subject, and it successfully made me famous because the students from all over the classes were curious who I was. Well, I would have never been alone if they were honest, that’s what I believe. Cheating was easy. Everyone else seemed to do it, but I wanted to be different. As for me, it’s pointless to have great grades, but no understanding of the subject. Often it took me more than two attempts to finally pass the math exam.

Another thing that worried me in the class was when the teacher asked us to make groups. My presence could be costly as they considered me to be a bad luck. No one wanted to be in the same group as me. If I ever got a group, I always belonged to the inferior ones. Grouping was done homogenously. Smart students were getting more superior, whilst the struggling ones stayed where they were. I did not want to complain, besides I was happier being in the same group with people who were not really smart but able to appreciate other people’s viewpoints. We tried our best, but still ended up with mediocrity.

High school was a miserable experience. However, there were few things that redeemed it. I was not really isolated, at least not after the class. I still had some superficial school friends with whom I could hang out. Friends who were overly feminine, and had a bunch of rules in the way they behave, friends who always reminded me not to make chomping sounds when eating, not to laugh so loudly etc. I should pretend to be someone else whenever I was around them. I should pretend to enjoy their music that almost gave me cancer every time I listened to it. I should fake everything. Friendship was just absolutely pretence.

I also had crush on my classmate, but never had the gut to say hi. He was not really cool though so I did not regret. Ok, I do not want to write about that. I should digress.

Time went slowly in high school, but it finally came to an end. Everyone continued to the university while I ended up working at the supermarket. Mother was no longer able to send me to higher education. Sometimes I felt sad passing the university when I was taking the bus to work. I always said to myself “I am supposed to be there”.

I finally got a chance to continue my study after working for a year. I had some money and my parents gave me a chance to enroll. They bought me computer and college stuff, and I paid for the tuition.

My time of happiness came when I entered university. It was pretty different from high school. Friends were real, open and mature. There is no need for me to pretend. I studied hard and achieved good grades. I just acted the way I am. I laughed so loud and didn’t care of my appearance but they still accepted me.

Like the misery, happiness will also pass. We finished the classes and moved on the different directions. Among the classes I was in, I consider ‘C’ class as the best class ever. Students were humorous, silly and were never offended. And most importantly, we never segregated friendship based on the students’ ability and social statuses. I could feel the sense of togetherness at the first time I joined. Now things were done, and I barely met them. I missed their jokes and laughter in the class. I cannot express more strongly how much I love them.

To be continued…

I am boring and pessimistic. I do not sleep at night. I sometimes devote myself thinking about things that do not exist yet. I am scared of where the future leads me, a frightening prospect. My parents think I am depressed because I spend most of my time in my room and only have one so-called best friend that is “computer”. My neighbours think I am crazy because they heard me speaking and laughing alone at midnight. Little did they know that I was actually just teaching my students or practising my English. I rarely go out except for work which is only three days in a week.

Last night I did not sleep as usual. I did not feel so weary. I laid on my bed with my eyes widely open. I put my hands under my head as a pillow. I turned my Skype on, but spoke to nobody. Silences ensued; night was so quiet that I could hear the wind sweeping the fallen leaves. My roosters were crowing, yet it was still 2 am when I saw the clock. I was doing nothing except constantly staring at the lamp that is hung on the ceiling whose light was quite bright enough to dazzle my eyes. Thoughts were colliding in my mind, memories of the past rose anew. No matter how much I did not want to recall it-I recalled it anyway.

I was remembering series of events, starting from the most vivid things happening in the highschool to the current things I’ve just encountered. I had become the laughingstock of my classmates, presumably because of my face looking pale every time the teachers called my name. I did not fear of teacher. I feared of being pointed at and not being able to solve the problems. Once it happened, my skin turned into grayish, my heart beat faster, my face and palms were sweaty as I could not control my nervousness. The entire of students burst out laughing afterwards.

I am a low-grade student; I sometimes appeared more foolish than I actually was. Although I sat with one of the smartest students in the class, I never took benefit of her. She always considered me as her best friend, but I did not. All I know is that the term of friends only suit to those people who always help each other. And I did not think she fell into that category. Well, we played outside the class, but she’s treating me more like her competitor than her friend in the class, and never trusted me. I was not good at math(s) and physics; hence she always used a pretty big book to hide her answers while doing the exams. She was probably afraid that I would steal her answer.

My name was often listed on remedial lists. Once I had been announced that I was the only one who did not pass the subject, and it successfully made me famous because the students from all over the school were curious who I was. Well, I would have never been alone if they were honest, that’s what I believe. Cheating was easy. Everyone else seemed to do it, but I wanted to be different. As for me, it’s pointless to have great grades, but no understanding of the subject. Often it took me more than two attempts to finally pass the maths exam.

Another thing that worried me in the class was when the teacher asked us to make groups. My presence could be costly as they considered me to be a bad luck. No one wanted to be in the same group as me. If I ever got a group, I always belonged to the inferior ones. Grouping was done on merit. Smart students were getting more superior, whilst the struggling ones stayed where they were. I did not want to complain, besides I was happier being in the same group with people who were not really smart but able to appreciate other people’s viewpoints. We tried our best, but still ended up with mediocrity.

High school was a miserable experience. However, there were few things that redeemed it. I was not really isolated, at least not after the class. I still had some superficial school friends with whom I could hang out. Friends who were overly feminine, and had a bunch of rules in the way they behave, friends who always reminded me not to make chomping sounds when eating, not to laugh so loudly etc. I should pretend to be someone else whenever I was around them. I should pretend to enjoy their music that almost gave me cancer every time I listened to it. I should fake everything. Friendship was just absolutely pretence.

I also had crush on my classmate, but never had the gut to say hi. He was not really cool though so I did not regret. Ok, I do not want to write about that. I should digress.

Time went slowly in high school, but it finally came to an end. Everyone continued to the university while I ended up working at the supermarket. Mother was no longer able to send me to higher education. Sometimes I felt sad passing the university when I was taking the bus to work. I always said to myself “I am supposed to be there”.

I finally got a chance to continue my studying after working for a year. I had some money and my parents gave me a chance to enroll. They bought me computer and college stuff, and I paid for the tuition.
My time of happiness came when I entered university. It was pretty different from high school. Friends were real, open and mature. There was no need for me to pretend. I studied hard and achieved good grades. I just acted the way I am. I laughed so loud and didn’t care of my appearance but they still accepted me.

Like the misery, happiness will also pass. We finished the classes and moved on the different directions. Among the classes I was in, I consider ‘C’ class as the best class ever. Students were humorous, silly and were never offended. And most importantly, we never segregated friendship based on the students’ ability and social statuses. I could feel the sense of togetherness from the first time I joined. Now things were done, and I barely met them. I missed their jokes and laughter in the class. I cannot express more strongly how much I love them.

I am a low-grade student with low grades; I Sometimes I appeared more foolish than I actually was. Although I sat with one of the smartest students in the class, I never took any advantage from itbenefit of her. She always considered me as her best friend, but I did not. All I know is that the term of being friends only suit to those people meant those who always help each other out. And I did not think she falls into that this category. Sure Well, we played with each other outside the class, but she’s I was being treated me more like her competitor than her friend in the class. and She had never trusted me. I was not good at math and physics; hence she and always used a pretty big giant book to hide her answers while doing the during exams lest her answers might leak to my eyes! She was probably afraid that I would steal her answer.

My name was often listed appeared on the remedial lists. Once I had been it was announced that I was the only one who did not pass the subject. Whether this was a good thing or not, it brought fame to me and every , and it successfully made me famous because the students from all over of the same year classes were now curious of this ne'er-do-well who I was. Well, I would have never been alone if they were honest, that’s what I believeHah! Unlike them, I do not cheat. Cheating was easy. Everyone else seemed to do it, It was easy to cheat but I wanted to be different. As for me, it’s Pointless to have great grades, but no understanding of the subject. Often it took me more than two attempts to finally pass the math exam.

Another thing that worried harried me in the class was when the teacher asked us to make form into groups. My presence could be costly as they is considered me to be a bad luck to the group I joined. No one wanted to be in the same group as with me. Even if I ever got into a group, I it is always belonged to the inferior a ones of inferiority. Each grouping was done homogenously tends to seek its own kind. Therefore, smarter students were getting more superior, smarter whilst the struggling ones stayed where remained as they were. I did not want to complain, besides since I was happier being in the same group with people who were not really smart those who may not be smarter but able to appreciate other people’s viewpoints of others. We tried our best, but still in the end, ed up with mediocrity was our constant companion.

Unclarity (is there any word for "being unclear"?)

According to Merriam Webster, there is indeed such a word :)  However, I have never saw it in my life.  I usually use obscurity, unclear, no clarity depending on the circumstances.

the entry is in the correction box

(is there any word for "being unclear"?)

Ambiguous- Blurred - Ill-defined - nondescript - nonspecific - obscure- featureless - indefinable.

Just a few.