Below is an essay I wrote as an exercise for the TOEFL writing section. I'm not sure if my answer is well organized, for it is not multi-paragraphed. I would really appreciate it if you could correct the grammatical mistakes and tell me whether it's organized enough. 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

People learn things better from those at their own level - such as fellow students or co-workers - than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I disagree to with the statement that people learn things better from those at their own level than those at a higher level. I believe that both groups of people are necessary for someone to make improvements in their knowledge and/or certain skills.

It is true that, with those that are at our own level, we can learn together and hence advance together. [You could say: "It is true that we can learn and advance together with people at our own level"] We may also be able to discuss things that we both do not understand, and that may eventually lead to a good answer [or "that may eventually lead to us finding the correct answer"]. We also usually have more opportunities to ask questions and discuss with each other than those that are at a higher level.

However Despite the above discussion, I believe that learning from the latter people at a higher level to us can be extremely beneficial as well. For instance, I read philosophical philosophy books with a good friend of mine several times a week, and once in several months with professors and graduate students. Both of them are beneficial to me, because they both provide things that can’t be provided by the other. Those at a higher level have more experience and knowledge from years of studying, and therefore have the ability to provide information that is virtually impossible to be [or just "cannot be"] obtained from young students. This greatly advances and improves my knowledge and ways of thinking. I however feel more liberated to ask various questions to of my friends. There are times when I ask a question that I thought was a dumb question dumb at first but ask it any way, which turned which turns out to be a key point of the passage, and therefore leads to an in-depth discussion. 

It is therefore difficult to say which is better; in my opinion, both of the factors people at our own level and at higher levels are necessary in order for us to make advancements in our knowledge.

Thank you!

Really well written once again. It was a bit too cluttered and you needed to split up the paragraphs. I made a quick attempt at this. What you probably should do is analyse the advantages and disadvantages of learning from people at our own level in one paragraph and then the advantages and disadavntages of learning from people at a higher level in another paragraph. You can then make a general statement at the end reinforcing or adjusting your original contention. I hope that helps. Keep at it!