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Night 黑夜

 

诗. 老实说我酷爱诗。我自己很少造诗因为觉得挺难写,不过有时候我试试写因为会伸展我语言能力的范围。翻译诗也挺难不但因为要保留原本的意思,而且让翻译的诗也能被人感动。

评估这首诗时请先了解,我目的不是得到真确的翻译,而是得到很近的意思也能让人感动。

Poetry. To be honest I love it. I don't write much myself as it is so hard however now and then I have a bash as I know it will really stretch the limits of my language ability. Translating poetry not only has the difficulty of retaining the meaning of the original but also the difficulty of making it good poetry in the target language!

So when reviewing this please do not think my objective is to get a literal translation. My objective is to get a "close" translation but still be a moving piece in Chinese.

I lose myself in the stars
I dissolve into space
Free from my body, my mind remains
I surge, flow, soar
A wild ride of emotions
Boundaries are tested
Waves of pure feeling
Enveloping me

在星星内迷失了自我
溶解成宇宙
摆脱肉体,神志还在
涌动, 流动, 翱翔
疯狂滚动的感情
界限测试
波里的情怀纯正
笼罩

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    Night 黑夜

    诗. 老实说我酷爱诗。我自己很少寫诗因为觉得挺难写,不过有时候我嘗试写因为会擴展我语言能力的范围。翻译诗也挺难,因为不但要保留原本的意思,而且要让翻译的诗也能感动人。 

    評論这首诗时请先了解,我目的不是得到真确的翻译,而是得到很相近的意思也能让人感动。

    Poetry. To be honest I love it. I don't write much myself as it is so hard however now and then I have a bash as I know it will really stretch the limits of my language ability. Translating poetry not only has the difficulty of retaining the meaning of the original but also the difficulty of making it good poetry in the target language!

    So when reviewing this please do not think my objective is to get a literal translation. My objective is to get a "close" translation but still be a moving piece in Chinese.

    I lose myself in the stars
    I dissolve into space
    Free from my body, my mind remains
    I surge, flow, soar
    A wild ride of emotions
    Boundaries are tested
    Waves of pure feeling
    Enveloping me

    在星星中迷失了自我
    溶化為宇宙
    摆脱形体,神志还在
    涌动, 流动, 翱翔
    疯狂滚动的感情
    界限测试
    波里的情怀纯粹
    笼罩

    中国古代的诗词很吸引人的。我喜欢宋词,尤其喜欢苏东坡的词。比如说:"十年生死两茫茫。不思量,自难忘。千里孤坟、无处话凄凉。纵使相逢应不识、尘满面,鬓如霜。 夜来幽梦忽还乡。小轩窗,正梳妆。相顾无言,惟有泪千行,料得年年断肠处,明月夜,短松冈。"

    Night 黑夜

    诗. 老实说, 我爱诗。我自己很少诗因为觉得难写,不过有时候雅兴一触, 就会想揮发试试写因为会伸展我语言能力的范围。翻译诗也挺难不但难于因为要保留原本的滋味与意思且让翻译的诗要在译语环境灵活能被人感动。 


    评估这首诗时请先了解,当你反思此首诗时, 请不要以为我目的是直接不是得到真确的翻译,而是維持其中的诗情画意.得到很近的意思也能让人感动

    Poetry. To be honest I love it. I don't write much myself as it is so hard however now and then I have a bash as I know it will really stretch the limits of my language ability. Translating poetry not only has the difficulty of retaining the meaning of the original but also the difficulty of making it good poetry in the target language!

    So when reviewing this please do not think my objective is to get a literal translation. My objective is to get a "close" translation but still be a moving piece in Chinese.

     

    My version :)

    I lose myself in the stars                           星中自失去
    I dissolve into space                                  溶化太空裡
    Free from my body, my mind remains        脫胎神志存
    I surge, flow, soar                                     湧流飛騰上
    A wild ride of emotions                              心緒狂波浪
    Boundaries are tested                                邊疆試一探
    Waves of pure feeling                                遠近有何異 [added for tradition's penchant for even lines]
    Enveloping me                                          鎖在真情內


    Nice :)


    在星星内迷失了自我               
    溶解成宇宙                          
    摆脱肉体,神志还在              
    涌动, 流动, 翱翔                    
    疯狂滚动的感情                    
    界限测试                              
    波里的情怀纯正
    笼罩


     

    Night 黑夜

    诗. 老实说我酷爱诗。我自己很少造诗因为觉得挺难写,不过有时候我试试写因为会伸展提高我的语言能力的范围。翻译诗也挺难。因为(翻译诗)不但因为要保留原本的意思,而且还要让翻译的诗也能感动别人。

    评估这首诗时请先了解,我目的不是得到真确的翻译,而是得到很近的意思也能让人感动。

    Poetry. To be honest I love it. I don't write much myself as it is so hard however now and then I have a bash as I know it will really stretch the limits of my language ability. Translating poetry not only has the difficulty of retaining the meaning of the original but also the difficulty of making it good poetry in the target language!

    So when reviewing this please do not think my objective is to get a literal translation. My objective is to get a "close" translation but still be a moving piece in Chinese.

    I lose myself in the stars
    I dissolve into space
    Free from my body, my mind remains
    I surge, flow, soar
    A wild ride of emotions
    Boundaries are tested
    Waves of pure feeling
    Enveloping me

    在星星内迷失了自我  
    溶解成宇宙
    摆脱肉体,神志还在
    涌动, 流动, 翱翔
    疯狂滚动的感情
    界限测试
    波里的情怀纯正
    笼罩

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