A piece of advice (a sinking story) That was an odd meeting: my middle sister, her childhood sweetheart, my aunt Encarnita, and I, in a windy summer afternoon, borrowing the rickety van of my father a

Carmen

Professional Teacher

A piece of advice (a sinking story) That was an odd meeting: my middle sister, her childhood sweetheart, my aunt Encarnita, and I, in a windy summer afternoon, borrowing the rickety van of my father and going for no reason to one of the most hostile beaches of the region... http://carmencorrea.hatenablog.com/entry/2014/07/21/191943 Hi! I'm posting my daily writing exercises on this blog, come in to continue reading, and if you find some mistakes or you feel like giving me some feedback, feel free to write below! :)

Jul 21, 2014 10:21 AM

Corrections · 4

A piece of advice (a sinking story)

That was an odd meeting: my middle sister, her childhood sweetheart, my aunt Encarnita, and I, on a windy summer afternoon, borrowing the rickety van of my father and going for no reason to one of the most hostile beaches of the region...

http://carmencorrea.hatenablog.com/entry/2014/07/21/191943

Hi! I'm posting my daily writing exercises on this blog, come in to continue reading, and if you find some mistakes or you feel like giving me some feedback, feel free to write below! :)

Hi Carmen,

Pretty much perfect! Nice one. I've been to a few beaches like that..horrible feeling!

July 21, 2014

Thanks Bethany! n_n I'm happy you are enjoying it! My sister's name is Angus, I know it sounds a little confusing since that's more a name for a burger than a name for a girl, but that's how we call her XD

July 22, 2014

Hi Carmen, I love reading your blog, even in English you have a distinct narrative voice. Your English is almost perfect, just a few small suggested revisions and corrections: 1. "Conclave" is VERY formal and I didn't even remember what it meant. I had to look it up in the dictionary. Instead I would use "episode" or "situation." 2. I would say "my father's rickety van" instead of "the rickety van of my father." 3. I'm not sure if you meant to say "Angus' boyfriend" or "my sister's boyfriend Angus."

July 22, 2014

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