catwinona
A Visit To The Dental Clinic As a summer activity, an early education institution organized my son and classmates to visit a dental clinic with teachers and parents. The dentist told us much more knowledges about dentistry,and taught the children how to brush teeth in a corret way.The children wore a white smock as a real doctor to check teeth of their parents. In China,many families used not to pay more attention to the teeth of children,and did not use dental floss .But today,more and more young parents put emphasis on the teeth of children.But private dental clinic is expensive to common families,and hospitals are crowded.
Jul 26, 2014 2:51 PM
Corrections · 3

A Visit To The Dental Clinic

As a summer activity, an early education institution organized my son and classmates to visit a dental clinic with teachers and parents. <em>(perfect)</em> The dentist told us much more knowledges a great deal of information about dentistry, and taught showed the children how to brush their teeth in a the correct way. The children wore a white smock as a like real doctors, to check the teeth of their parents.
In China, many families used not to pay more inadequate attention to their teeth of children's dental health, and did not use dental floss, but today, these days more and more young parents put emphasis on the teeth of their children. But private dental clinics are expensive to common families, and hospitals are crowded.

July 26, 2014

A Visit To The Dental Clinic

As a summer activity, an early education institution organized a trip for my son and his classmates to visit a dental clinic with teachers and parents.  <em>(Excellent!  Just a little update - the school organized the trip and not the students.  You may want to place the first clause at the end, because it "dangles" at the beginning - it doesn't modify anything.)</em>

The dentist shared a lot of told us much more knowledges with us about dentistry,and taught the children how to brush their teeth in a correct way. ("Knowledge" is an uncountable noun - see http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/nouns-un-countable_2.htm - so he shared knowledge vs. "a knowledge" or "knowledges".)

The children wore a white smock as a real doctor would, to check the teeth of their parents. <em>(Or "their parents' teeth".)</em> 
In China, many families were not used not to paying more attention to the teeth of their children, and did not use dental floss. <em> (Note the structure:  (verb "to be") + not used to + (participle). "She's not used to taking care of those dogs."  You can also say, at the end, "...and did not encourage their children to use dental floss.")</em> 

But today,more and more young parents put emphasis on caring for the teeth of children. <em>(Great!  Again, "children's teeth" is another option.)</em>

But private dental clinics are expensive for many common families,and hospitals are crowded.  <em>(You can say "many families" or "most middle-class families", for example.)</em>

<em>Excellent work!  You used various structures and verb tenses very well.</em>

July 26, 2014
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