My hometown
My hometown, Baoji, is the second biggest city in Shaanxi province and the biggest is Xi'an. It is located in the southwest of China and also the southwest of Shaanxi. The name of Baoji means a precious chicken which is came from an ancient story. In the Tang dynasty 755AD,the emperor fleed away from Xi'an because of the rebellion. And when they passed by Baoji, a chicken saved their lives and became into a stone chicken after it finished his/it's mission. Baoji is surrounded by mountain MT Qinling and the Wei river, so it/the city is very beautiful and natural. The city is famous for its culture, because Emperor Yan lived there and also the Zhou dynasty stemed from there. There is also a famous temple, Famen temple, which has is 1,700 years old. I love the delicious food and most of the Xi'an snacks came from there. The people there is are very simple and happy. The life style is very slow and I call it a retired life style. Living there, we tend to enjoy the nature.
A:不对字 （wrong word)
A:不同的词更好听
A:字和语法对，但不必要 (correct words and grammar, but unnecessary in this sentence)
A:利用还是共轭字 (add of conjugate word)
My hometown
My hometown Baoji is the second biggest city in Shaanxi province and the biggest is Xi'an. It is located in the southwest of China and also the southwest of Shaanxi. The name of "Baoji" means "a precious chicken" - which is came from an ancient story. In the Tang dynasty AD755, the emperor fled flee away from Xi'an because of the rebellion. And when they passed by Baoji, a chicken saved their lives and transformed became into a stone chicken after it finished his its mission. Baoji is surrounded by the mountain range "Qinling" and Wei river - so it is very beautiful and natural. The city is famous for its culture because emperor Yan lived there and also the Zhou dynasty also stemed from there. There is also a famous temple, the Famen temple, which is has 1,700 years old. I love the delicious food that you can eat there and most of the Xi'an snacks come came from there. The people there are is very simple and happy. Their lifestyle is very slow and I think of it almost as a call it retired lifestyle. As we are used to living there, we tend to enjoy the nature it has to offer.
Good! A few notes:
-Punctuation. Here is how punctuation works:
You <em>must</em> put a space <em>after</em> a period, a comma, a question mark, an exclamation mark, a colon and a semi colon
<em>Hey! How are you? I'm fine, how are you? I'm great. What are you doing today?</em>
<em>Great: I have been working all day; I want to go to the shop this afternoon.</em>
If you don't do this, it's simply wrong.
-You put a space before an open bracket, but you don't put one before the words start. You don't put a space between the last word and the close bracket, but there is a space between it and the next word
<em>James is my brother (he is 15) and he is very annoying</em>
-You do the same with speech marks
<em>"Mr. Andrew!" he shouted. "Where have you been all day?!". Mr. Andrew replied "In bed!".</em>
You should finish the sentence that is enclosed in speech marks in the speech marks and you need to finsih the sentence in which the speech marks are enclosed after this.
-When you use a hyphen to expand on a previously written clause you should put a space before and after it
<em>I have always liked Mr Johnson - he has always been so good to me</em>
You must get this correct.
-Apart fromt that, you have just made a few small mistakes such as using the correct verb conjugation of using the correct tense. You've also had a few issues with articles.
Hope this is useful for you. Laurence
My hometown
My hometown Baoji is the second biggest city in Shaanxi province and - the biggest is Xi'an. Baoji It <em>('it' is ambiguous, since it could refer to Baoji or Xi'an, so do't use the indefinite pronoun here; see also note below)</em> is located in the <em>southwest</em> <em>(no it's not! haha - I'd say closer to the geometric centre of China, and between the Changjiang and Huang he)</em> of China and also the southwest of Shaanxi.The name of Baoji (meaning precious chicken), which is <em>(which is also ambiguous - chicken or name!)</em> came from an ancient story set in the Tang dynasty AD755. The emperor fled away from Xi'an because of the a rebellion. And when As they passed/were passing by Baoji, a chicken saved their lives and became turned/transformed/transmogrified/metamorphosed into a stone chicken after it had finished his its <em>(consistency - it and its)</em> mission.
<em>New paragraph - different topic/subject</em>
Baoji is surrounded by mountain Qinling mountains on one side and Wei river on the other, so it is very beautiful and natural. The city is famous for its culture, because emperor Yan lived there and also the Zhou dynasty stemmed from there. There is also the famous temple Famen temple which is has 1,700 years old.
I love the delicious food of Baoji, and most of the Xi'an snacks came from there <em>(I added 'of Baoji' so there is associated with Baoji, not Xi'an - ambiguous again)</em>. The people life there is very simple and happy - the lifestyle is very slow and I call it 'retired lifestyle'. Living there, we tend to enjoy the nature.
<em>Alternatively '... Baoji ... province (the biggest is Xi'an) and is located ...'</em>
