I would be very happy if someone can correct it for me :)

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What
do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your
town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your
essay.

I live have lived in Jerusalem in for the last few years. In my opinion, Jerusalem has many advantages, but has also has some disadvantages. If a person I know moved to Jerusalem, I think he would like the restaurants and the variety of cultures here. The thing that he will would not like so much is the traffic jam.
Jerusalem has many good restaurants that serve many different types of cuisine. The restaurants are from many different types. There are restaurants that offer oriental food, while others that specialized in western food. For example, in the old city of Jerusalem there is a little restaurant that I like the most. This restaurant offers only one kind of food, hummus. This restaurant It is very small; only five or six persons people can seat sit there in at one time. However, I believe, however, this restaurant has the best hummus in Jerusalem.
In addition, There are many different cultures in Jerusalem. In Jerusalem you can see Jews and Muslims, religious and non-religious, walking together in the same street. For instance, many neighborhoods in Jerusalem are ultra-orthodox neighborhoods. The ultra-orthodox people live in a very special way. The men do not work, but study the old Jewish law their entire lives. In addition, those people live exactly as people lived two hundred years ago. For example, they neither watching television nor using use computers. I think that it is fun to live in a city with so many different cultures.
The problematic characteristic of Jerusalem is the traffic. The roads in Jerusalem have been were built many years ago, and do have not changed so much since then. Because of the narrowly-built streets, it is hard to extend the streets widen them today. Therefore, the traffic in Jerusalem is very bad. One can spend a couple of hours every day in on the roads every day. As a result, I prefer to use public transportation, such as trains and buses.
In conclusion, Jerusalem is a very unique city, with great restaurants and interesting cultures. The main disadvantage in Jerusalem is the traffic jam congestion.

(This is only an exercise. it should not be taken seriously :)) (Understood)

Well done! This is well organized and uses lots of sophisticated syntax. If you have any questions about suggestions I've made, please feel free to ask :)

I would be very happy if someone can correct it for me :)

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What
do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your
town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your
essay.

I live have been living in Jerusalem in for the last few years. In my opinion, Jerusalem has many advantages, but has also has some disadvantages. If a person I know moved to Jerusalem, I think he would like the restaurants and the variety of cultures here. The thing that he will would not like so much is the traffic jam.
Jerusalem has many good restaurants. The restaurants are from many different types. There are restaurants that offer oriental food, while others that specialized in western food. For example, in the old city of Jerusalem there is a little restaurant that I like the most. This restaurant offers only one kind of food, hummus. This restaurant is very small, only five or six persons people can seat sit there in at one time. I believe, however, this restaurant has the best hummus in Jerusalem.
In addition, there are many different cultures in Jerusalem. In Jerusalem you can see Jews and Muslims, religious and non-religious, walking together in the same street. For instance example, many neighborhoods in Jerusalem are ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods. The ultra-Orthodox people live in a very special way. The men do not work, but study the old Jewish law their entire lives. In addition, those people live exactly as people lived two hundred years ago. For example, they neither watching television nor using use computers. I think that it is fun to live in a city with so many different cultures.
The problematic characteristic of Jerusalem is the traffic. The roads in Jerusalem have been were built many years ago, and do have not changed so much since then. Because of the narrow streets, it is hard to extend expand the streets today. Therefore, the traffic in Jerusalem is very bad. One can spend a couple of hours every day in on the roads. As a result, I prefer to use public transportation, such as trains and buses.
In conclusion, Jerusalem is a very unique city, with great restaurants and interesting cultures. The main disadvantage in Jerusalem is the traffic jam.

(This is only an exercise. it should not be taken seriously :))