LOOK AT ME ! COME IN ! Hi ,everyone. U can call me michelle. I have been in shanghai about ten years. I graduated in the east china university of science and technology. As my parents suggest me s

michelle

LOOK AT ME ! COME IN ! Hi ,everyone. U can call me michelle. I have been in shanghai about ten years. I graduated in the east china university of science and technology. As my parents suggest me stay in shanghai , u know , shanghai is a big city of the world. Then I decided keeping in shang hai and find a job .so I have already had a family here 5years. I come from Lanzhou, GanSu province. It belongs to west of china , there are a lot of mountain, a little bit of river though. the famous place is yellow river .I think the people where are very honest an enthusiasm. U must like them. If u go there ,maybe I am gonna guide u. In my spear time ,I like hanging out my friends to shopping, or go to coffee bar ,and talk to each other. Sometimes , I take my family to travel ,and see some of new place for sightseeing. they can give us good mood. If u ask me why are u learn English ? I say like that I admire someone who can speak English fluently. This may give me more motivation in communicating and expressing myself..and I like make new friends, I really hope I can find some friends to help me out. Thank you!

Aug 20, 2014 6:16 AM

Corrections · 3

LOOK AT ME ! COME IN !

Hi ,everyone. You can call me Michelle.

I have been in Shanghai about ten years. I graduated from the East China University of Science and Technology. As My parents suggested to me that I stay in Shanghai , as you know , Shanghai is one of a big cities of the world. Then So I decided to stay keeping in Shanghai and find a job. So I have already had a family here for 5 years.

I come from Lanzhou, GanSu province. It belongs to in the west of China, there are a lot of mountains, but few rivers , a little bit of river though. , the most famous being the Yellow River. I think the people where there are very honest and full of enthusiasm. U must You would like them. If you go there , maybe I am gonna could guide you.

In my spear spare time, I like hanging out with my friends to shopping, or going to a coffee bar ,and just talking to each other. Sometimes , I take my family to travelling ,and see some of new place for while sightseeing. they can give us good mood.

If you ask me why are you learning English ? I would say like that I admire someone who can speak English fluently. This may give me more motivation in communicating and expressing myself..and I like to make new friends, I really hope I can find some friends to help me out.

Thank you!

Notes:

There are a lot of English speakers who run words which are followd by the word "to" together so the two separate sound like one different word.

Examples are "want to" -> wanna ; "going to" -> gonna

You have obviously heard an English speakers saying some of these words. While you would be understood, avoid the use of these shortened forms as it will sound undeducated.

I understand the spelling "u" for the word "you", and this usage is quite common amongst younger people who send texts from mobile phones (Cellphones), however use "you".

I am not sure how I would interpret this sentence - they can give us good mood.

Does "they" refer to the "new place" or to the things that you do or to your friends ? If it was all of those, you could write - All of these leave us in a good mood.

You will notice that I used a capital letter for

the names of things - Shanghai rather than shanghai

the first letter of the first word in a sentence - They went there rather than they went there.

When you use the word I to refer to yourself.

You could also write this sentence " "It belongs to in the west of China, there are a lot of mountains, but few rivers, the most famous being the Yellow River" as

"It is in western of China and is very mountainous but with few rivers, the most famous being the Yellow River."

You have a good understanding of written English and I hope that I have not discouraged you from writing as you have done very well.

August 22, 2014

By the way, extensive use of capitals as in "LOOK AT ME ! COME IN !" may be inappropriate in some circumstances and is difficult to read for many. However your usage is very good as it conveys you sense of excitement about homeland and learning English.

August 22, 2014

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