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我的仙人掌 我有十个仙人掌。我的很大箱人掌是三年老。很多的箱人掌不想干的的地球。在春天和夏天我星期六晚上给它们水。在冬天它们睡觉。我很高兴。我买很小的箱人掌,它们生长很大。下个春天两个箱人掌有花了。它们的花是很好看。它们的花没有大的生命。它们有四个天—六个天花。箱人掌也要很好的爱。我给他们星个花瓶和星个地球。下个星期一我买四个花瓶和星个地球。他们要箱人掌的地球。你不可以买花地球。它们很喜欢日。我得很多转动它们的花坪。我很爱我的小绿的朋友们。我不是邪恶的它们叮我。我知道的风险!
Aug 22, 2014 8:42 AM
Corrections · 17
1

我的仙人掌

我有十仙人掌。我的很人掌养了三年很多的大多数人掌不想喜欢的地球土壤。在春天和夏天我星期每周六晚上给它们水。冬天它们睡觉会冬眠。我很高兴我买很小的箱人掌,它们很大下个明年春天人掌就会开花了。它们的花很好看它们的花没有很久的生命。它们有四个天—六个天花,从开花到凋谢只有四天到六天人掌也要很好的好好地疼爱。我给他们星个花瓶和星个地球把它们放到花盆和土壤里生长。下个星期一我买四个花星个地球一些土壤他们要箱人掌的地球。必须是仙人掌专用的土壤,你不可以买花地球普通的花卉土壤。它们很喜欢太阳。我得很多经常转动它们的花。我很爱我这些的小绿色的小朋友们。我不是邪恶的害怕它们叮我的刺,虽然我知道的风险它们很危险

 

Earth:地球 and 土地 and 土壤

土壤 is better using here~

You did very good, please keep moving on!

August 22, 2014
1

我的仙人掌

我有十仙人掌。我的很最大的仙人掌养了三年。很多仙人掌不适应干的土壤(地球,你是说土壤吧,earth,但是仙人掌应该适应缺水的环境啊。额……)。在春天和夏天的时候,星期六晚上我会给它们水。在冬天的时候,它们睡觉。我很高兴。我买很小的仙人掌,它们会长得很大。下个春天两个仙人掌将会开花。它们的花很好看。它们的花没有大的生命不长。它们有四个天—六个天花没看明白你要表达的意思。4朵花开6天?6朵花开4天?)。仙人掌要很的爱。我给他们个花瓶和个地球(星是什么?)。下个星期一我买四个花瓶和星个地球。他们要仙人掌地球。你不可以买花地球。它们很喜欢阳光。我得很多经常转动它们的花瓶。我很爱我的小绿绿朋友们。我不是邪恶的它们叮我(是想说,我不怕它们扎到我?)。我知道风险!

 

绿色的地方是我没看明白的地方。红色的是要去掉的。黄色是改动好的。

August 22, 2014
@Baggio: Thank you so much for your suggestions and your help. You are right, for example my dictionary just gives me the translation for Earth as the planet, instead for Earth as soil. I even saw the problem in some movies, where the spoken translation is different from the subtitle translation. I hope in my next notebook entries, I will make lesser mistakes, although in chinese class the teachers would hacve said it is right to say 我的很大箱人掌是三年老。I'm so confused sometimes.
August 23, 2014
@chinafan - That would be helpful. :) But I think you should revisit your basic grammar constructs - for instance, "我的很大箱人掌是三年老。" - this is very European - in Chinese, you can say "I have some cacti I have raised for three years" 我有一些养了三年的仙人掌. In addition, it's important to check that you have used a word correctly - there are many words that translate to what you want to say in your native language but makes no sense in the target language. For example, in English, we can say "to water plants", but you can't translate this to "给它们水" in Chinese, the proper term is "浇水“. Another example is "earth" - in Chinese, the planet Earth is "地球", whereas earth, as in dirt or soil is "土壤" or ”泥土“. To check the precise meaning and / or nuances of a word, I suggest baidu's dictionary - they have some excellent sentences and translations. Good luck. :)
August 23, 2014
:)
August 23, 2014
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