Carmen
Professional Teacher
Angus' threat My middle sister is getting married. So far nothing thrilling or surprising. She has found the perfect guy. They sound like two songs of Carosone, they look like a finished 10000-piece puzzle, they smell like melted candy in an amusement park... Do you want to continue reading this article? Click right button here: http://carmencorrea.hatenablog.com/entry/2014/08/22/190037 Hi! I'm posting my daily writing exercises on this blog, come in to read the full text, and if you find some mistakes or you feel like giving me some feedback, feel free to write below! :)
Aug 22, 2014 10:04 AM
Corrections · 6
2

My middle sister is getting married. So far nothing thrilling or surprising. She has found the perfect guy. They sound like two songs of Carosone,; they look like a finished 10000-piece puzzle,; they smell like melted candy in an amusement park. Angus is getting married, and I know it will be perfect,. I don’t need to help her,. sShe’s got the dress,; she’s got the shoes,. sShe’s a savvy girl overall (Ok...commas. As a rule, when you are connecting two independent clauses you use a comma if it is followed by a conjunction, e.g. "She's got the dress, and she's got the shoes". When the independent clauses are closely related and there is no conjunction, you use a semicolon as I've edited above. The third option is to use a period after each clause. This is a fairly technical rule and most English speakers get it wrong too, so no big deal.) . But yesterday I got a warning, a death threat in the form of a sister’s whatsapp:

“You have no dress to wear at my wedding. It’s just a couple of weeks remaining. Don’t dream I’ll lend you one already seen by everyone. I know you’d wrap yourself in dishcloths but this time I’m not gonna let you do that. It is the most important day of my life. You are my youngest sister. Make sure you look better than I me (or "than I do").”

I immediately make a SOS call. “Luna, you have to give me a hand,. iIt’s a painful favor, but I’m running out of time.” “I told you Carmen, I couldn’t get subtitles for that Vietnamese one.” “You couldn't?! But you said… Ok, forget about that! I have to get a dress for the wedding.” “You mean you have to go shopping and stuff??” “Yes, please, I’m begging you,. I can’t go alone through that alone.” “Last time I went to a clothing store I was in a baby carriage. If I went with you, we both would start panicking. Why don’t you wear one of mines? I have a bunch of pieces of fabric I found in a squat, we could work something up.” “You know what? I’ll call Rosa, I think she’ll be more helpful for this one.”

“Rosa, just take the money and get me a dress. Anything will be fine.” “I can’t,. I work from 6 p.m. till 1 p.m., from Monday to Saturday. Shops close at siesta time.” “You haven’t got a job, you have joined slavery ("become a slave" sounds better)!” “Carmen, go by yourself, it will be fast. Just pick the first one on the hanger. It will suit you. You should start handling better things that you don’t like...” “Wait, I’ve got a new message from my sister. Let me check what’s now new (or maybe "what's up now").”

“I have no vows to read at my wedding. It’s just a couple of weeks remaining. Don’t dream I’ll say something already heard by everyone. I know you’d write a damn piece of poetry so this time I’m gonna let you do that. It is the most important day of my life. I am your middle sister. I’ll lend you a dress if you get my back.”

 

Good job! Very few corrections to be made.

August 22, 2014
I guess I am Alaric. My problem with clothing is that I never think about it :D I don't care at all. I don't have any special liking for them. I use them to protect me from the weather, basically. I've been basically wearing the cloths of my elder siblings since I was a baby. I try to avoid getting new ones, the whole process of going to the shop, having to choose and trying them on annoys me and I experience it as a painful waste of time. Some of my friends also think like that... some others think something is very wrong with my head. All of them are probably right. :P
August 22, 2014
Are you really lackadaisical about clothing? I am very much that way, so is my wife. We buy our clothing primarily at second hand stores and really cheap box stores. Then we wear it until it wears out. This entry reminded me of family scenes in Woody Allen movies.
August 22, 2014
Sure! As you wish! Thanks Leigh!! :D
August 22, 2014
Carmen, I will mark you work - on italki only.
August 22, 2014
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