秋香 (继续练习写诗)
One way to write good Classical Chinese poetry is. Line one expresses a theme. Line 2: continuation of the theme. Line three starts off with another topic. Fourth line ties everything together. So you need to
switch your lines two and three. So I suggest the following. Great impetus to improve your Chinese! This was how I got started too :)
霜风落雁镜悬湖, 霜风落雁镜悬湖
心若孤舟不知途。 金叶飘落微波浮
金叶飘落微波浮, 心若孤舟不知途
镜湖水月相对出。 唯有婵娟知我愁 you can substitute 知 with 晓