Mumtaz
Community Tutor
Mother You imagine you lived for so long, After you reached thirties and you feel life is good indeed.. And you actually think you've experienced everything, from bad to good and what's between.. The moment you realise this is not totally true, When you see your mom suffering from pain.. You smile to her face to give her courage to endure, Yet inside your heart is crying in a way you can't explain.. Mom: continue arguing with me & tell me I'm wrong, Or make your practical jokes on me anytime you want.. I really don't mind as long as you are healthy & strong, Just please promise me one thing; that you get better soon..
Sep 17, 2014 10:20 PM
Corrections · 3
1

Mother

You imagine you've/ have lived for so long,
After you've/ have reached your thirties and you feel life is good indeed..

And you actually think you've experienced everything,
from bad to good and what's in between...(1)

The moment you realise this is not totally true,
When you see your mom suffering from pain...

You smile to her face to give her courage to endure,
Yet inside, (2) your heart is crying in a way you can't explain..

Mom: continue arguing with me & (3) tell me I'm wrong,
Or play your practical jokes on me anytime you want...

I really don't mind as long as you are healthy & strong,
Just please promise me one thing: that you will get better soon...

 

(1) An ellipsis should have three dots, not two.

(2) The comma here is crucial to the meaning. Consider the difference between 'inside my heart'

and 'inside, my heart...'

(3) A strict teacher would tell you to spell 'and' instead of using &

 

I love that your mom plays practical jokes on you. :P

September 18, 2014
I need a correction from a native speaker please,, many thanks in advance.
September 17, 2014
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