My Driving Exam/Test (2) <em>('examination' is oral or written, so I think it should be a 'test')</em>
That day I got up at 5 am because the exam test place was far away from the city. It was a very smoggy morning. I thought I was unlucky because it was certainly a bad day for a driving test exam. But then the sun rose and the smog disappeared. It turned out to be a sunny day! It was a good sign! After the five of us arriving arrived<em> (tense)</em> at the exam place, we encouraged each other, hoping that we all could get a pass. Finally my name was called. I stood up, and my classmates wished me good luck, “come on, you will pass for sure!”
Yeah, I hope so. I went to the car that was distributed allocated to me, feeling so nervous. After I sat in the car for while, I suddenly realized that I hadn't fastened my seatbelt! If I started the car without wearing the seat belt, I would fail the exam for sure! I quickly fastened it. The examiner looked at me and said (he wasn't supposed to warn me so he had kept his silence before), “Pay attention! Pull yourself together!”
I took a deep breath, started the car, and went drove to the first test — parking. I cleared all my thoughts, remembered all the skills I had learned, concentrated on just one thing — driving, and did the best parking that I had ever done.
Well done！I said to myself. Now the most difficult part had passed, I went to the next test -- parallel parking. Maybe because I was too happy about my parking, when I started to back my car I forgot to put the car into reverse so the car actually went forward. I failed! I stopped the car immediately, but nothing happened. I thought I got away with it. How lucky I was! The exam computer didn't detect my mistake. I didn't waste my second chance and did a good job of parallel parking. Then came the slope, passed; the tortuous winding lane, passed; sharp righthand corner, passed!
But the weird thing was, I didn't get the notice from the computer that I had finished my exam. I drove back to the starting line. The examiner checked the computer and asked me to do the parallel parking again because according to the record I didn't do the test. That was why I didn't fail. The computer didn't detect that I had started to do the parallel parking at all. So I went back, parked again. This time I remembered to put the car into reverse. Just when I parked the car on the parking space I heard the computer said, “The exam is ended. I am communicating with the controlling center. Please wait.”
好吧！成功了！
<em>Well done! </em>[1] I said to myself. Now the most difficult part had past passed, I went to the next test-- parallel parking. Maybe because I was too so happy about my parking, when I started to back my car I forgot to put the car into reverse so the car actually went forward. I failed! I stopped the car immediately, but nothing happened. I thought I got away with it. How lucky I was! The exam computer didn't detect my mistake. I didn't waste my second chance and did a good parallel parking [2]. Then came the slope, passed; the tortuous lane, passed; the sharp-right-hand [3] corner, passed!
But the weird thing was, I didn't get the notice from the computer that I had finished my exam. I drove back to the starting line. The examiner checked the computer and asked me to do the parallel parking again because, according to the record, I didn't do the test. That was why I didn't fail. The computer didn't detect that I had started to do the parallel parking at all. So I went back, and parked again. This time I remembered to put the car into reverse. Just when I parked the car on the parking space I heard the computer said say [4], “The exam is ended. I am communicating with the controlling center. Please wait.”
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[1] Internal thoughts should either be italicized, or quoted.
<em>Well done!</em> I thought to myself.
"Well done!" I thought to myself.
[2] Because you started to say, "I did a good...", we are expecting a noun (i.e, you did a good <em>what</em>?) Hence, either of these two sentences would be okay:
"I didn't waste my second chance and did a good parallel park."
"I didn't waste my second chance and did good parallel parking."
[3] It's hard to see in the correction, but you had the hyphen in the wrong place. It should be located as follows:
"a sharp right-hand corner"
[4] You are correct that this should use the past tense. However, the earlier word 'heard' had already established the tense. You could have used either of these introductions:
The computer said, "The exam is ended."
I heard the computer say, "The exam is ended."
It if helps to see the difference, consider these simpler sentences:
"I used to live in China." (Okay. One past tense verb, 'used'.)
"I lived in China." (Okay. One past tense verb, 'lived'.)
"I used to lived in China." (Not okay to combine two past tense verbs like this.)
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Again, your writing is great. It is very, very natural. I look forward to reading the third part of the story about your driving test.
That day I got up at 5 am because the location of the exam place [1] was far away from the city. It was a very smoggy morning. I thought I was unlucky because it was certainly a bad day for a driving exam. But then the sun rose and the smog disappeared. It turned out to be a sunny day! It was a good sign! After the five of us arriving arrived at the exam place center [1, 2], we encouraged each other, hoping that we all could get a pass [3]. Finally my name was called. I stood up, and my classmates wished me good luck, “cCome on, you will pass for sure!”
Yeah, I hoped so. I went to the car that was distributed allocated to me, feeling so nervous. After I sit sat in the car for while, I suddenly realized that I hadn't fastened my seatbelt! If I started the car without wearing the seat belt, I would fail the exam for sure! I quickly fastened it. The examiner looked at me and said (he wasn't supposed to warm me so he kept his silence before), “Pay attention! Put Pull yourself together!”
I took a deep breath, started the car, and went to the first text test—parking. I cleared all my thoughts, remembered all the skills I had learned, and concentrated on just one thing—driving,—and did the best parking that I had ever done.
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[1] You can say 'the location of the exam', 'the exam center', or 'the examination center'.
[2] You could also have said, "After the five of us arrived for the exam, ..."
[3] Here, 'pass' is not a noun (it is shorthand for 'a passing grade'), so you can't use it in this way. You could use either of these two phrases:
"... hoping that we all could pass."
"... hoping that we all could get a passing grade."
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Because your entry is long, I must split the corrections across two replies.
