Hi Jihye.  Your first note was really interesting.  Rather than focusing on language inaccuracies, which were very rare. I thought I might suggest a couple of points about your writing style.

My first note

- My last meal
I ate kimchi jigae, kim and sausage. They are side dishes that go with rice. Korean people eat rice as their main food (a staple food). Kimchi jjigae is a soup made of kimchi and pork. Kimchi is a traditional Korean food which can be spicy for people who are non-Koreans. Gim is sea weed. (Unless you want to explain more about why 김 is unique to Korean, I suggest simply listing seaweed in the first sentence. And now I'm drinking a melon flavoured milk. Yummy.

Very interesting.  You've made me hungry :)  
Remember we capitalise pronoun (names), but not common nouns like food.

- How I get to work
My office is really close to my house. So, if I had a car it would only take 10 minutes to get there, but I can't drive so I go there by bus. It takes (this is a generalisation) about 20 minutes to get to work in the morning. and After work, sometimes it takes (can take - use an auxilary verb to modify the main verb to emphasize sometimes as opposed to a generalisation ) more than 50 minutes because of the heavy traffic. It's not that I haven't thought about getting a license, but actually I am a real corward. So, I need to think carefully.

Try to Keep It Short and Simple (KISS).  Reduce the length of your clauses by using punctuation. Remember a period (.) can be used before some adverbials, but not be for conjunctions. However, many conjunctions such as but have a comma before them.

- The view outside of my window
I wish it (what?) was beautiful when I looked out of my window, but sadly when I look out of the window, I only see compannies and cars, trees. But However, one thing I like is that I can smell trees and wet soil after rain. I live in a quiet and small village.
Back in my school, my class mates called me Gomae girl as a joke. Gomae is the name of my village (moved). My school was an hour away by bus. It took more than 2 hours when it snowed a lot. 

Great!  Try to avoid brackets ().  You can use commas , or periods . to better offer an aside.  For example:

Seoul (Korea's capital) is a beautiful city. (x)  This is a fluent written style.  
Seoul is a beautiful city.  It is the capital of Korea. (o) Move the less important idea to the next sentence.
Seoul, which the capital of Korea, is a beautiful city. (o) use commas to seperate the less important idea into a subjunctive clause.

- Hanbok
I love hanbok. It's colorful and fancy. I used to wear it when I was a kid in on the Korean holidays called Seol-nal and Chu-seok, but now I don't wear them anymore. Nowadays, it seems that wearing hanbok makes people a little awkward. I don't know why but it seems like we are forgetting about our traditional cultures and customs. It's sad.   (I agree :) )

When I was wearing it wear a hanbok (try to avoid pronouns in the first sentence of a paragraph) during Seol-nal or Chu-seok, I got become calm and more girlish. So my younger brother was is like "what's wrong with you today?".

I wonder how Hanbok looks like to foreigners.
(I think hanbok are really beautiful. Little kids look cute wearing them. A well chosen hanbok can make ladies look super pretty and sophisticated too.)


This was a really interesting read with very few inaccuracies.  Your entire text is interesting and easy to understand.  As I said, Keep It Short and Simple in order to help your readers.  The best way to do this is to write sentences that are controled by clear punctuation.

Remember that generalisations are written in the present simple tense.  However, when mentioning exceptions the main verb is often modified by an auxilary verb or an adverb.

I usually fall asleep quickly, but it can take up to an hour.
I often cook dinner for my friends.  However, I rarely cook for my family.

Well done on first notebook entry :) 

My first note

- My last meal
I ate Kimchi Jjigae, Gim, Sausage. They are side dishes that go with rice. Korean people eat rice as their main food. Kimchi jjigae is a soup made of Kimchi and pork. Kimchi is a traditional Korean food which can be spicy for people who are non Koreans. Gim is sea weed. And now I'm drinking  a melon flavoured milk. Yummy.

Notes :  This one is very good. I just removed the singular "a" before "melon flavoured milk".  You could say - "It's yummy" or "Yummy !" . Yummy ! indicates excitement that you want to share with the reader.

- How I get to work
My office is really close to my house so if I had a car it would only take 10 minutes to get there but I can't drive so I go there by bus. It takes about 20minutes to get to work in the morning and after work, sometimes it takes more than 50 minutes because of the heavy traffic. It's not that I haven't thought about getting a license but actually I am a real corward. So I need to think carefully.

Notes: This is also very good.  I have the feeling that the very last sentence "So I need to think carefully" does not sound like something an English writer would write.  An English writer might write "So I need to think carefully before making a decision".

- The view outside of my window
I wish it was beautiful when I looked out of my window but sadly when I look out of the window, I only see <em>companies,  cars and  trees</em>. But one thing I like is that I can smell <em> the trees and  the </em>wet soil after rain. I live in a quiet and, small village.
Back in my school, my class mates called me Gomae girl (Gomae is the name of my village) as a joke. My school was an hour away by bus. It took more than 2 hours when it snowed a lot.

Notes: Also very good, I had no problems understanding what you said and I have made only minor correction. You might consider using the word "shops" instead of companies. A shop sells things, a company is more of a legal entity that may or may not have a physical existence. A shop has a physical existence.

- Hanbok
I love Hanbok. It's colorful and fancy. I used to wear it when I was a kid  in <em>during the</em>  Korean holidays called Seol-nal and Chu-seok but now I don't wear them anymore. Nowadays, it seems that wearing Hanbok makes people a little awkward. I don't know why but it seems like we are forgetting about our traditional cultures and customs. It's sad.
When I was wearing it during Seol-nal or Chu-seok, I got became calm and more girlish so my younger brother was like "what's wrong with you today?".
I wonder how Hanbok looks like to foreigners.

Notes: Also very good.  This sentence "makes people a little awkward" is ambiguous. Do you mean self-conscious or clumsy. I think that you mean self-conscious.

Personally I think Hanbok looks really attractive. There is a group at Seoul University called  Hanbok Noledan who wear Hanbok in their daily lives. They are certainly doing great things.

This part of your last sentence -- <em>my younger brother was like</em> is a modern construction that some older or non-American English speakers might not understand but is definitely acceptable.

So my conclusion - you have a great range of English knowledge in syntax, spelling and vocabulary.  You have done a superb first notebook entry for your debut !